full

full
Published on:

10th May 2022

Betrayal and Marriage with Dr. Debi Silber

Betrayal is a different type of trauma for two reasons:  1.  It feels intentional, it is rejection which is different than if you lose someone you love.  2.  There are a collection of symptoms (physical and mental) and time does not heal them.   Today Dr Debi Silber the founder of the PBT (Post Betrayal Transformation) Institute a holistic psychologist and author shares her insight into betrayal.  And there is a lot.  During her recent PHD study she learned the 5 stages of betrayal.

1. Set up stage where you ignore your feelings.

2. Shock and trauma-your world view is shattered.  

3. Survival instincts emerge.  This is the place where most people get stuck.  In this stage people do not trust anyone,  or they think maybe they deserved it. This stage can last for years and often people can call more distrustful relationships into their lives.  

4. Finding and adjusting to a new normal.  If friends and loved ones don't rise they don't come with you.

5. This is where the healing is with a re-birth, self love, mind healing and a new world view. 

The questions you can ask yourself if you are feeling stuck in number 3 are: am I numbing or avoiding feelings if so how?  What am I pretending to see, what will my life look like in 5 years if I do nothing? What can life look like if I change?

If you have been betrayed you need to rebuild self trust in your truth.  If you chose to trust the betrayer again It is up to the betrayer to build that trust brick by brick.

Dr. Debi Silber is the founder of the PBT (Post Betrayal Transformation) Institute and is a holistic psychologist, a health, mindset and personal development expert, the author of Trust Again, and is a 2-time #1 International bestselling author of: The Unshakable Woman AND From Hardened to Healed: The Effortless Path to Release Resistance, Get Unstuck and Create a Life You Love. Her podcast: From Betrayal to Breakthrough is also globally ranked within the top 1.5% of podcasts. Her recent PhD study on how we experience betrayal made 3 groundbreaking discoveries that changes how long it takes to heal. In addition to being on FOX, CBS, The Dr. Oz Show, TEDx (twice) and more, she’s an award-winning speaker and coach dedicated to helping people move past their betrayals as well as any other blocks preventing them from the health, work, relationships, confidence, and happiness they want most.

Find Dr. Debi here:

Website

Facebook

Instagram

Linkedin

After 18 years of Elder Law and Family Law, Lesa Koski brings extensive experience to the complex area of Mediation.  Koski Law & Mediation offers:

1. A simple streamlined approach to Divorce with a peaceful outcome.

2. Attorney turned Mediator with a modest flat fee and unlimited communication.

3. At your side from start to finish and beyond.

Website:

Instagram:

Linkedin:

Facebook: 

Mentioned in this episode:

Saddle Up Live Podcast Ad

Do you love Doing Divorce Different and want to hear more from Lesa Koski and her amazing guests? Tune in to the Saddle Up Live Podcast, a transformative podcast tailored for women aged 40 and beyond, where courage, God's grace, and a touch of sass are the driving forces behind conquering life's challenges. Whether you're looking for practical advice, heartfelt stories, or simply a supportive community of like-minded women, saddle up and join us on this exhilarating ride.

Saddle Up Live Podcast

Listen for free

Show artwork for Doing Life Different with Lesa Koski

About the Podcast

Doing Life Different with Lesa Koski
Real conversations for women over 40 about faith, fitness, and fresh starts
Mindset, movement, and faith after 40—because midlife isn’t a crisis, it’s your comeback.

Welcome to Doing Life Different with Lesa Koski, the podcast for women over 40 who are ready to rewrite the rules, reclaim their joy, and rediscover their purpose. Whether you're navigating divorce, rediscovering your health, deepening your faith, or learning how to have fun again—you’re in the right place.

Host Lesa Koski—wife, mom, coach, and seasoned mediator—brings real talk, relatable wisdom, and expert interviews to guide you through midlife reinvention with grace and grit.

In each episode, you’ll get practical tools and empowering conversations on:

Mindset & personal growth

Faith & spiritual connection

Fitness, movement & health

Divorce, marriage & relationships

Fun, purpose & starting fresh in the second half of life

This isn’t just self-help. It’s soul-level transformation. Get ready to do life different—because your next chapter starts now.

Lesa also explores the emotional and physical changes that often accompany midlife and major life shifts. From navigating the impact of menopause on your health, marriage, and mood, to dealing with the loneliness that can come after divorce or empty nesting, you’ll find honest conversations that don’t shy away from real-life challenges. And for those of you in your 40s, 50s, or beyond, you’ll discover what it means to truly build a better life after 40.

Health and wellness are deeply integrated into this journey. Lesa shares insights on the benefits of rest, joy, nutrition, fasting, protein, and bone health, along with the power of movement, community, and exercise to support mental clarity and physical strength. You’ll learn how to take care of yourself with intention—because healing isn’t just emotional, it’s also biological.

Mindset work and self-coaching are recurring tools offered in episodes to help you reframe your story and shift from fear to freedom. And through it all, the show honors the role of faith, spiritual surrender, and letting God lead you through every season. Whether you're leaning into your relationship with God for the first time or deepening a lifelong practice, you’ll hear how surrender can bring peace even in the hardest moments.

You’ll hear real stories from people who have done divorce differently, saved their marriages, or found new love and purpose on the other side. Lesa also brings in conversations about marriages that have stood the test of time, co-parenting through complex seasons, and the realities of parenting after separation while maintaining stability for your kids.

This is a podcast about thriving through Cancer, taking back your life, rewriting your future, and trusting that you’re not starting over, you’re starting better. If you’re craving practical advice, soul-level encouragement, and real conversations about creating a healthy, joyful, purpose-driven life, you’ve found your community.

Subscribe now and join Lesa Koski for weekly episodes that will help you grow stronger in your relationships, your health, and your faith, no matter where you’re starting from.

About the Host:
I’ve spent over 25 years helping families navigate amicable divorce as a lawyer and mediator, always focused on protecting what matters most—your kids and your peace of mind. But my mission has expanded. Today, I support women over 40 not just through endings, but in building stronger relationships—and sometimes even saving their marriages. I’m a breast cancer survivor, a cowgirl at heart, a wellness advocate, and a follower of Jesus. My life and faith fuel my passion for helping women thrive.

About your host

Profile picture for Lesa Koski

Lesa Koski