Can You Have a Trauma-Free Divorce?
Today I am joined by Clinical Psychotherapist, Laurel Sole. After going through her own traumatic divorce, Laurel decided to help provide others with the tools and support needed to work through and heal from the trauma. Laurel talks about her divorce and the trauma she experienced before getting married. It is possible to heal and to move forward with your life. Tune in today to hear great tips on working through trauma in the moment.
In this episode:
[3:19] Laurel shares her experience with divorce trauma. [4:50] Laurel talks about her divorce and what led her to Clinical Psychotherapy. [8:40] We hear about Laurel's life trauma. [10:30] How is Laurel’s therapy practice different from traditional therapy? [13:48] How do people work with Laurel? [16:17] Laurel provides tips on working through trauma at the moment.
Key Takeaways:
Remember in the difficult moment that this is just a point in time, and it will pass. You don’t know what will come after this point in time, but it is temporary. Look for the gift or opportunity in the situation. Grief through a divorce is OK; whether you want the divorce or not, you will experience grief. It wasn't just the marriage but the idea in your mind, the items being divided up, and even the co-parenting relationship that your mind has to cope with. If you are going to therapy and it isn’t working for you, or you aren’t getting your needs met, find a different therapist. Laurel highlights working with her clients when they are in a difficult moment or facing trauma, which allows people to learn the tools to get through whatever circumstance they are facing at that time.
Quotes:
“There’s so much more than just the ending of a marriage that happens in a divorce. There's a plethora of relationships, experiences, and mutual things you’ve acquired along the way as well, and all of that has a compounded traumatic affect.” - Laurel Sole
“For us to work through trauma, we have to look through neurobiology, and we have to look at attachment, and we need to be looking at how we sort of run energy and regulate energy through our nervous system. We really need to be learning these skills.” - Laurel Sole
Guest Bio:
I began my graduate work in 2002. I imagined a path of International Social Work. I’ve traveled the world and lived everywhere, and my dreams of working globally were big. However, an unintended pregnancy, single parenting, child custody battles, a second marriage, more children, and some family trauma resulting in the tragic death of my brother informed a very different life path for me. This new path involved a deep and still evolving process of working diligently to understand myself and the choices I’ve made in this lifetime. I needed to understand my patterns and belief systems that kept me cycling in and out of trauma. I was tired of relationship struggles and stagnation that felt never-ending. I had to come to understand how I could make peace with the sudden unexpected changes life delivers and live a life of deep peace, deep knowing, and secure trust in myself, despite tragedy and encountering the unexpected. I came to this place via my own personal growth journey, and that ultimately is what guided me to what I offer my clients now, Therapeutic Life Coaching.
Resources:
The Onward app was made for divorced parents to help track, share and split their children's expenses. Download The Onward App today for iOS or Android!
Mentioned in this episode:
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