Divorce, Betrayal and Dating with Jenni Rochelle
In today’s episode, we are joined by betrayal trauma specialist Jenni Rochelle. Jenni tells us about her experience with sex addiction, betrayal from her ex-husband, and how she got into her current field. She tells us about the three different stages of healing through betrayal. Jenni then dives into what it is like to start dating post betrayal and how to talk with the potential partner about what you’ve gone through and what triggers you may experience. Tune in for a realistic picture of hope after betrayal.
In this episode:
[1:14] Jenni introduces herself and discusses how she got into this field.
[3:30] What is betrayal trauma?
[4:25] When does betrayal become a level of trauma?
[6:05] How did Jenni heal from her betrayal, and can the person who committed the betrayal heal?
[9:07] What are the three stages of healing?
[12:16] What does it feel like to trust someone to start dating again post betrayal?
[16:29] What if someone hasn't healed from a betrayal?
[19:35] Finding safety in your next relationship when triggers arise.
Key Takeaways:
People with sex addiction can heal, but it can take a long time. It can take 2-5 years for them to develop empathy.
Everyone suffers. Different traumas are handled differently by everyone. There are big T traumas and little t traumas, but they are all trauma.
Many trauma behaviors are labeled as co-dependencies, but they are actually a form of PTSD.
Trauma is the gift that keeps on giving. The triggers will get less, but there can still be a tiny part of our minds that makes us second guess what’s going on in our life with what happened in the past.
Quotes:
“Betrayal trauma is when a person or institution we rely on for safety and security betrays our trust.”
“Look at all of your relationships and figure out the pattern of how you showed up over time.”
“We can understand how we’ve been showing up in relationships, and it's typically unhealed and unprocessed trauma from when we were little girls. Nobody gets everything they need when they are little. So we’re trying to work that out. Again it's not conscious. So when we can see that, we can understand and try to make choices differently in relationships.”
Guest Bio:
Jenni Rochelle is the founder of the Beauty After Betrayal™ community, which has helped hundreds of women reconnect with themselves, their bodies, and their beloveds.
With a Masters in Spiritual Formation, she awakens women to their birthright of personal freedom. Jenni is also a thought leader in the field of betrayal trauma. Her podcast, Beauty After Betrayal, has helped thousands of women heal with hope and rise.
Inspired by her clients and informed by her own journey, Jenni’s work is focused on mentoring high-achieving, emotionally intelligent women to get out of their heads and into their bodies in order to shift their relationships.
Jenni is a certified life coach trained according to the Multi-Dimensional Partner Trauma Model (MPTM) developed by the Association of Partners of Sex Addiction Trauma Specialists (APSATS).
Resources:
Mentioned in this episode:
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