Episode 44

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Published on:

19th Apr 2022

Divorce Dating and your Children with Divorce over 40's Daniel Herrold on Doing Divorce Different with host Attorney turned Mediator Lesa Koski # 44

Are you Divorced, over 40 and thinking about dating.  Daniel Herrold the Divorced Dad walks us through how he navigated dating and divorce with teens.  Daniel shares his authentic story and some feelings of shame about how he handled dating when his marriage ended.  In this episode he shares what he would have done different and what he did right.  This delightful conversation begins with answering when should I start dating?  Daniels heartfelt response is not before the decree is signed.  He urges people to heal themselves first, hire a therapist, get comfortable with your new parenting situation; and when you feel complete on your own you are ready to begin dating. 

He feels very positive about how he introduced his girlfriend to his children.  He never talked to his kids about dating or introduced them to anyone until they were ready.  How did he know he was ready?  His kids initiated it.  They were curious and Daniel was always honest.  When they asked to meet her and Daniel felt it was a committed relationship everyone was prepared.  He adds that each situation is different.  Some kids may be extremely upset and you may need a different plan in place.

Daniel has strong feelings about dating apps.  He brought a new perspective to me.  You know how above we talked about wait to date until you feel complete.  Well a lot of the people over 40 on dating apps are not healed yet.  They jump into dating as a wounded individual and that is not going to lead to any successful connections. Daniel says when you are ready,  put all your lines in.  Network with good friends.  Remember the hobbies you love and do them.  "Put yourself out there!"

Daniel began Divorced Over 40 with conversations among a few new friends.

Over small dinners and happy hours during the summer of 2020, six 40-somethings in Tulsa realized one striking common denominator: their midlife, post-divorce status.  Messy, raw, friendly,

acrimonious, you name it – our experiences with divorce and our ex were varied, but all of

them sang from the same sheet of music: divorce midlife is not for the faint of heart.

Themes began to emerge such as the importance of friendship, managing a new set of

finances, self care and healing, successful co-parenting and, of course, dating.   Find Daniel here:

Website

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MEET OUR CREATOR AND HOST:

After 18 years of Elder Law and Family Law, Lesa Koski brings extensive experience to the complex area of Mediation.  Koski Law & Mediation offers:

1. A simple streamlined approach to Divorce with a peaceful outcome.

2. Attorney turned Mediator with a modest flat fee and unlimited communication.

3. At your side from start to finish and beyond.

Website:

Instagram:

Linkedin:

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Mentioned in this episode:

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A Podcast Guide to Doing Divorce Differently

About the Podcast

Doing Divorce Different A Podcast Guide to Doing Divorce Differently
Divorce, co-parenting, menopause, marriage, and starting over after 40—Doing Divorce Different is your guide to a healthy, faith filled life transition.

Hosted by Family Law Attorney and Mediator Lesa Koski, Doing Divorce Different is a candid, empowering podcast designed to take the fear out of divorce and guide you toward peace—whether you’re navigating a split, working to stay married, or rebuilding a better life after a major transition. Each week, Lesa brings heart-centered legal insight, emotional support, and holistic wisdom to help you heal, grow, and thrive.

We cover everything from amicable divorce and co-parenting strategies to parenting plans that actually work and support kids in thriving through change. You’ll learn how to prepare for marriage with prenups, revisit your relationship with post-nuptial agreements, and understand what it really takes to stay married or rekindle love after a rough season. If you're in the midst of a grey divorce, wondering how to not get divorced, or questioning whether love can be found again, this show is for you.

Lesa also explores the emotional and physical changes that often accompany midlife and major life shifts. From navigating the impact of menopause on your health, marriage, and mood, to dealing with the loneliness that can come after divorce or empty nesting, you’ll find honest conversations that don’t shy away from real-life challenges. And for those of you in your 40s, 50s, or beyond, you’ll discover what it means to truly build a better life after 40.

Health and wellness are deeply integrated into this journey. Lesa shares insights on the benefits of rest, joy, nutrition, fasting, protein, and bone health, along with the power of movement, community, and exercise to support mental clarity and physical strength. You’ll learn how to take care of yourself with intention—because healing isn’t just emotional, it’s also biological.

Mindset work and self-coaching are recurring tools offered in episodes to help you reframe your story and shift from fear to freedom. And through it all, the show honors the role of faith, spiritual surrender, and letting God lead you through every season. Whether you're leaning into your relationship with God for the first time or deepening a lifelong practice, you’ll hear how surrender can bring peace even in the hardest moments.

You’ll hear real stories from people who have done divorce differently, saved their marriages, or found new love and purpose on the other side. Lesa also brings in conversations about marriages that have stood the test of time, co-parenting through complex seasons, and the realities of parenting after separation while maintaining stability for your kids.

This is not just a podcast about divorce. Doing Divorce Different is about taking back your life, rewriting your future, and trusting that you’re not starting over, you’re starting better. If you’re craving practical advice, soul-level encouragement, and real conversations about creating a healthy, joyful, purpose-driven life, you’ve found your community.

Subscribe now and join Lesa Koski for weekly episodes that will help you grow stronger in your relationships, your health, and your faith, no matter where you’re starting from.

About the Host:
I’ve spent over 25 years helping families navigate amicable divorce as a lawyer and mediator, always focused on protecting what matters most—your kids and your peace of mind. But my mission has expanded. Today, I support women over 40 not just through endings, but in building stronger relationships—and sometimes even saving their marriages. I’m a breast cancer survivor, a cowgirl at heart, a wellness advocate, and a follower of Jesus. My life and faith fuel my passion for helping women thrive.

About your host

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Lesa Koski