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Published on:

25th Jul 2023

Divorce Stress Coping Strategies

Today I have attorney Gary Miles on the podcast. His mission in his practice is to provide practical tools to help his clients overcome obstacles freeing them to enjoy the success and freedom they crave. Throughout this episode he gives so many incredible tips for working through stressors while going through difficult times. He talks about the benefits of mediation, and how oftentimes the decisions you can reach together will be more beneficial than the conclusions a judge will reach. Gary discusses the importance of gratitude and mentorship to help stay in a positive place. Tune in to fill yourself up with positivity and uplifting advice! 

In this episode:

[3:12] Gary shares his story about how he got started in law and what led him to become an attorney. [5:06] Why is being in a high high place not healthy for Gary? [6:35] How did Gary’s recovery impact his career? [9:10] How people can handle stressors while going through a difficult time. [11:57] Gary shares the benefits of mediation. [14:50] How does mediation work when someone cannot feel safe due to a form of abuse? [17:21] Can mediation work with a narcissist?  [19:37] How to use mentorship to help people through difficult things you’ve gone through. [25:15] Gary’s advice on what you can do today to stay balanced.

Key Takeaways: 

Find the gift in everything. We cannot control our lives, things are going to happen that are difficult, but finding the gifts and trusting that everything will work out the way it is meant to is a great way to have a positive mindset. Working through mediation and coming to an agreement between the two of you will end up being better than any court appointed judge could decide for you and your family. Although you may not get everything you want, it lessens the likelihood of there being resentment because you were able to talk through it and reach a decision together. Practice gratitude - every day for a month, write down 3 things you're grateful for every morning. You cannot write down the same thing twice. Every night, write down the things that happened that day that you're grateful for. Review the morning and evening list every day. 

Quotes: 

“If parties can reach their own decision, two things happen always. One, it's a better decision for themselves and for the kids. The court could never decide something better for the parties then they could jointly agree themselves. And the second is it's much more enforceable, it's much less likely to be contested because this was our agreement.” - Gary Miles

Guest Bio: 

Gary Miles has been practicing law for more than four decades, primarily in litigation and, more recently, in family law. He has been a trial lawyer, managing partner, author, leader, and entrepreneur. He loves helping folks solve their problems. He is passionate about showing people how to free themselves from the prisons that entrap them. 

He has seen the pressures we face in the legal profession. He is dedicated to helping his clients achieve fulfillment in their practice. He provides practical tools to help his clients overcome obstacles freeing them to enjoy the success and freedom they crave.

He loves supporting lawyers and lifting the legal profession. He hosts a podcast, The Free Lawyer, with two weekly episodes. He enjoys his Pinehurst, NC, home with his wife, Brenda, and their two beautiful English Goldens. They have five children and five grandchildren (so far!). 

Resources: 

Gary Miles LinkedIn 

Gary Miles Facebook 

Gary Miles Instagram 

Gary Miles Website 

The Free Lawyer Podcast

Lesa Koski Website

Lesa’s Online Courses

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Mentioned in this episode:

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About the Podcast

Doing Divorce Different A Podcast Guide to Doing Divorce Differently
Divorce, co-parenting, menopause, marriage, and starting over after 40—Doing Divorce Different is your guide to a healthy, faith filled life transition.

Hosted by Family Law Attorney and Mediator Lesa Koski, Doing Divorce Different is a candid, empowering podcast designed to take the fear out of divorce and guide you toward peace—whether you’re navigating a split, working to stay married, or rebuilding a better life after a major transition. Each week, Lesa brings heart-centered legal insight, emotional support, and holistic wisdom to help you heal, grow, and thrive.

We cover everything from amicable divorce and co-parenting strategies to parenting plans that actually work and support kids in thriving through change. You’ll learn how to prepare for marriage with prenups, revisit your relationship with post-nuptial agreements, and understand what it really takes to stay married or rekindle love after a rough season. If you're in the midst of a grey divorce, wondering how to not get divorced, or questioning whether love can be found again, this show is for you.

Lesa also explores the emotional and physical changes that often accompany midlife and major life shifts. From navigating the impact of menopause on your health, marriage, and mood, to dealing with the loneliness that can come after divorce or empty nesting, you’ll find honest conversations that don’t shy away from real-life challenges. And for those of you in your 40s, 50s, or beyond, you’ll discover what it means to truly build a better life after 40.

Health and wellness are deeply integrated into this journey. Lesa shares insights on the benefits of rest, joy, nutrition, fasting, protein, and bone health, along with the power of movement, community, and exercise to support mental clarity and physical strength. You’ll learn how to take care of yourself with intention—because healing isn’t just emotional, it’s also biological.

Mindset work and self-coaching are recurring tools offered in episodes to help you reframe your story and shift from fear to freedom. And through it all, the show honors the role of faith, spiritual surrender, and letting God lead you through every season. Whether you're leaning into your relationship with God for the first time or deepening a lifelong practice, you’ll hear how surrender can bring peace even in the hardest moments.

You’ll hear real stories from people who have done divorce differently, saved their marriages, or found new love and purpose on the other side. Lesa also brings in conversations about marriages that have stood the test of time, co-parenting through complex seasons, and the realities of parenting after separation while maintaining stability for your kids.

This is not just a podcast about divorce. Doing Divorce Different is about taking back your life, rewriting your future, and trusting that you’re not starting over, you’re starting better. If you’re craving practical advice, soul-level encouragement, and real conversations about creating a healthy, joyful, purpose-driven life, you’ve found your community.

Subscribe now and join Lesa Koski for weekly episodes that will help you grow stronger in your relationships, your health, and your faith, no matter where you’re starting from.

About the Host:
I’ve spent over 25 years helping families navigate amicable divorce as a lawyer and mediator, always focused on protecting what matters most—your kids and your peace of mind. But my mission has expanded. Today, I support women over 40 not just through endings, but in building stronger relationships—and sometimes even saving their marriages. I’m a breast cancer survivor, a cowgirl at heart, a wellness advocate, and a follower of Jesus. My life and faith fuel my passion for helping women thrive.

About your host

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Lesa Koski