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Published on:

14th Feb 2023

How to Heal A Broken Heart Through Divorce And Beyond

Valentine’s Day can be tricky when you are single, especially after a divorce or breakup. Today, I have family therapist Brian Burns on the show to give some great tips about battling loneliness and knowing when you are ready to move on to a new relationship. We touch on the difference between grieving the loss of a loved one and experiencing heartbreak because of the end of a relationship. Lastly, Brian discusses the healing that needs to occur before you are ready to enter a new relationship and how to get practice in the dating world post-heartbreak. Tune in today for some great tips, or share with a friend experiencing heartbreak and struggling this Valentine’s Day.

In this episode:

[1:17] How to fix a broken heart and deal with the feelings you may experience on Valentine’s Day. [3:48] Brian talks about loneliness and how you can take control of negative emotions. [9:40] Brian’s advice on what to do when going through heartbreak. [14:23] What is the difference between grieving the loss of life and a breakup? [17:47] How to work through the battle that is going on in your mind. [18:39] How do we know when it’s time to return to the dating world post-heartbreak? [22:58] How to look at dating as a practice to find your next relationship. How dating apps are a great way to practice.

Key Takeaways:

If you are experiencing loneliness, do one thing each day to connect with others. This could be a phone call, a text, or talking to the person in the checkout line at the grocery store. You never know who else is lonely, so brighten your day and someone else's through connection. Knowing and understanding what happened in your past relationship and what you would do differently in a new relationship is essential to moving on and finding a new love. Our brain is always searching for dopamine, so when you are experiencing loneliness, it will search for a time when you were happy. This may bring up times with your ex-spouse and create a feeling that you were the one who “ruined it.” Take the time to uncover the reality of the situation. If you were the right people for each other, then you wouldn't be experiencing divorce.

Quotes:

“You're confident in yourself; you know how you want to be as a human in a dating relationship. You have confidence in yourself that you can say yes when you're ready to say yes and no when it's not right to say yes.” - Brain Burns

Guest Bio:

I’m Brian Burns, and I have been practicing as a licensed family therapist since January 1999. I specialize in helping adults in the midst of relationship crises restore trust, intimacy, and communication. Whenever possible, I prefer to help couples save and strengthen their marriages or committed relationships. However, not all relationships can (or should) stay together. In these cases, I help the couple end the relationship in a way that is healthy for everyone, especially when there are children involved.

I am also a certified mediator, parenting coach, and Rule-29 Neutral in the State of MN. This means I have the skills and experience necessary to help parents who are divorced to make agreements about parenting in a collaborative and child-centered manner. I believe that even though conflict and fear can bring out the worst in people, everyone has the capacity to be a better version of themselves and that our children need us to give it all we have to be our best.

Resources:

Brian Burns Website

Email: Brian@mnrelationshiprepair.com

Lesa Koski Website

Lesa’s Online Courses

Mentioned in this episode:

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About the Podcast

Doing Divorce Different A Podcast Guide to Doing Divorce Differently
Divorce, co-parenting, menopause, marriage, and starting over after 40—Doing Divorce Different is your guide to a healthy, faith filled life transition.

Hosted by Family Law Attorney and Mediator Lesa Koski, Doing Divorce Different is a candid, empowering podcast designed to take the fear out of divorce and guide you toward peace—whether you’re navigating a split, working to stay married, or rebuilding a better life after a major transition. Each week, Lesa brings heart-centered legal insight, emotional support, and holistic wisdom to help you heal, grow, and thrive.

We cover everything from amicable divorce and co-parenting strategies to parenting plans that actually work and support kids in thriving through change. You’ll learn how to prepare for marriage with prenups, revisit your relationship with post-nuptial agreements, and understand what it really takes to stay married or rekindle love after a rough season. If you're in the midst of a grey divorce, wondering how to not get divorced, or questioning whether love can be found again, this show is for you.

Lesa also explores the emotional and physical changes that often accompany midlife and major life shifts. From navigating the impact of menopause on your health, marriage, and mood, to dealing with the loneliness that can come after divorce or empty nesting, you’ll find honest conversations that don’t shy away from real-life challenges. And for those of you in your 40s, 50s, or beyond, you’ll discover what it means to truly build a better life after 40.

Health and wellness are deeply integrated into this journey. Lesa shares insights on the benefits of rest, joy, nutrition, fasting, protein, and bone health, along with the power of movement, community, and exercise to support mental clarity and physical strength. You’ll learn how to take care of yourself with intention—because healing isn’t just emotional, it’s also biological.

Mindset work and self-coaching are recurring tools offered in episodes to help you reframe your story and shift from fear to freedom. And through it all, the show honors the role of faith, spiritual surrender, and letting God lead you through every season. Whether you're leaning into your relationship with God for the first time or deepening a lifelong practice, you’ll hear how surrender can bring peace even in the hardest moments.

You’ll hear real stories from people who have done divorce differently, saved their marriages, or found new love and purpose on the other side. Lesa also brings in conversations about marriages that have stood the test of time, co-parenting through complex seasons, and the realities of parenting after separation while maintaining stability for your kids.

This is not just a podcast about divorce. Doing Divorce Different is about taking back your life, rewriting your future, and trusting that you’re not starting over, you’re starting better. If you’re craving practical advice, soul-level encouragement, and real conversations about creating a healthy, joyful, purpose-driven life, you’ve found your community.

Subscribe now and join Lesa Koski for weekly episodes that will help you grow stronger in your relationships, your health, and your faith, no matter where you’re starting from.

About the Host:
I’ve spent over 25 years helping families navigate amicable divorce as a lawyer and mediator, always focused on protecting what matters most—your kids and your peace of mind. But my mission has expanded. Today, I support women over 40 not just through endings, but in building stronger relationships—and sometimes even saving their marriages. I’m a breast cancer survivor, a cowgirl at heart, a wellness advocate, and a follower of Jesus. My life and faith fuel my passion for helping women thrive.

About your host

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Lesa Koski