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Published on:

21st Nov 2023

Lessons from the Heart: Discover The Invaluable Insights That Divorce Can Offer About Oneself and the Dynamics of Marriage with Johanna Lynn

Today I am joined by therapist, Johanna Lynn. We discuss the form of therapy she does, which explores epigenetics and unresolved family trauma in order to understand how it affects generations to come. She walks me through how to uncover where my unresolved anxiety may be coming from and how to put a stop to passing that down to my grandchildren. Johanna then discusses what self-regulation is and how to bring it into practice when you are feeling triggered. The information she provides really helps to open your eyes and see that your “issues” may not actually be yours, and there is an opportunity to heal them. This was such a fascinating episode, and I can’t wait for you to listen!


In this episode:

[1:55] Johanna shares her story. [5:42] Johanna explains how her style of therapy works with looking at how you were loved. [8:46] Breaking generational patterns so we don’t pass the trauma down to our children. [10:44] Johanna walks Lesa through uncovering where her anxiety comes from. [14:28] Johanna gives an example of healing generational incomplete or unprocessed grief or trauma. [17:20] What is self regulation? [20:45] How do you bring self regulation and awareness into practice? [24:12] What is one thing listeners could do to start uncovering what generational things may be coming up for themselves.


Key Takeaways: 

[18:06] When you are searching for a therapist or counselor, make sure that they are  self regulated. A lot of therapists get into this work to sort out their own stuff and they end up passing it along to their clients. [21:12] When you have gone through your own self regulation work, you are able to trust yourself more, and not give yourself away for connection. You have more boundaries, are more grounded, and have a better idea of who you want to be instead of having the environment around you squeeze you into something you’ve learned in your family. [24:52] The more you know your family history, the more well equipped you can be with your own healing.


Quotes: 

“The idea that how we were loved as a child imprints how we show up to love and, even how we navigate separation. And so for me, it was such a time to learn when everything was so raw and so vulnerable. It really allowed me to be more humble and take a look at things with a fresh perspective.” - Johanna Lynn

“How do you help yourself self regulate? You clear out your influences of the past. You start to understand - Ooh, that's my great grandma's anxiety. And that's the lens I've been looking at my decisions and my relationships through. This is how my body has been responding, but gosh, maybe it's not even mine.” - Johanna Lynn

"It's a little bit like unpacking your trunk before we're able to  fully go on that vacation. We've got to make space for the new stuff that we want to welcome in. And we don't recognize what our blind spots are. They're still a part of us.” - Johanna Lynn


Guest Bio: 

Johanna has been connected to the world of separation and divorce for 15 years, originally due to her personal situation, then as a systemic therapist focusing on restoring relationships.


Resources: 

The Family Imprint Institute

The Family Imprint Institute Instagram

Email: connect@johannalynn.ca 

Lesa Koski Website

Lesa’s Online Courses


To receive real-time alerts that your child is safe, visit https://www.soberlink.com/partners/different


I am so honored to introduce my FREE Co-Parenting Masterclass. This masterclass shares tools to co-parent well even with a difficult co-parent. You will learn the 5 C's of a Co-Parenting Plan and a free bonus resource with Certified Divorce Lending Specialist, Tami Wollensak, sharing what you want to consider regarding the family home. Sign up to receive a video replay at https://www.lesakoski.com/co-parenting-masterclass

Mentioned in this episode:

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About the Podcast

Doing Life Different with Lesa Koski
Real conversations for women over 40 about faith, fitness, and fresh starts
Mindset, movement, and faith after 40—because midlife isn’t a crisis, it’s your comeback.

Welcome to Doing Life Different with Lesa Koski, the podcast for women over 40 who are ready to rewrite the rules, reclaim their joy, and rediscover their purpose. Whether you're navigating divorce, rediscovering your health, deepening your faith, or learning how to have fun again—you’re in the right place.

Host Lesa Koski—wife, mom, coach, and seasoned mediator—brings real talk, relatable wisdom, and expert interviews to guide you through midlife reinvention with grace and grit.

In each episode, you’ll get practical tools and empowering conversations on:

Mindset & personal growth

Faith & spiritual connection

Fitness, movement & health

Divorce, marriage & relationships

Fun, purpose & starting fresh in the second half of life

This isn’t just self-help. It’s soul-level transformation. Get ready to do life different—because your next chapter starts now.

Lesa also explores the emotional and physical changes that often accompany midlife and major life shifts. From navigating the impact of menopause on your health, marriage, and mood, to dealing with the loneliness that can come after divorce or empty nesting, you’ll find honest conversations that don’t shy away from real-life challenges. And for those of you in your 40s, 50s, or beyond, you’ll discover what it means to truly build a better life after 40.

Health and wellness are deeply integrated into this journey. Lesa shares insights on the benefits of rest, joy, nutrition, fasting, protein, and bone health, along with the power of movement, community, and exercise to support mental clarity and physical strength. You’ll learn how to take care of yourself with intention—because healing isn’t just emotional, it’s also biological.

Mindset work and self-coaching are recurring tools offered in episodes to help you reframe your story and shift from fear to freedom. And through it all, the show honors the role of faith, spiritual surrender, and letting God lead you through every season. Whether you're leaning into your relationship with God for the first time or deepening a lifelong practice, you’ll hear how surrender can bring peace even in the hardest moments.

You’ll hear real stories from people who have done divorce differently, saved their marriages, or found new love and purpose on the other side. Lesa also brings in conversations about marriages that have stood the test of time, co-parenting through complex seasons, and the realities of parenting after separation while maintaining stability for your kids.

This is a podcast about thriving through Cancer, taking back your life, rewriting your future, and trusting that you’re not starting over, you’re starting better. If you’re craving practical advice, soul-level encouragement, and real conversations about creating a healthy, joyful, purpose-driven life, you’ve found your community.

Subscribe now and join Lesa Koski for weekly episodes that will help you grow stronger in your relationships, your health, and your faith, no matter where you’re starting from.

About the Host:
I’ve spent over 25 years helping families navigate amicable divorce as a lawyer and mediator, always focused on protecting what matters most—your kids and your peace of mind. But my mission has expanded. Today, I support women over 40 not just through endings, but in building stronger relationships—and sometimes even saving their marriages. I’m a breast cancer survivor, a cowgirl at heart, a wellness advocate, and a follower of Jesus. My life and faith fuel my passion for helping women thrive.

About your host

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Lesa Koski