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Published on:

4th Jul 2023

Navigating Divorce with Grace: Unleashing Kindness in Conflict with The Divorce Goddess

On today’s episode of Doing Divorce Different, I have Divorce Goddess, Tosh Brittan joining me. Tosh is such a bright light and I really enjoyed my conversation with her learning about what led her down the path of divorce coaching and her advice on choosing yourself. Tosh discusses how to create a choice of empowerment during divorce by being your own lighthouse. She talks about how cold plunging has helped her build her resilience, and finally what it’s like to be an empty nester. Tosh shares so many amazing nuggets during this episode, so make sure to tune in! 

In this episode:

[2:14] What led Tosh down her path of work? [6:10] Did Tosh’s ex spouse want to go through their divorce the same way she did? [8:16] How to create a choice of empowerment in your divorce. [15:16] What about when you are going through divorce with a narcissist or abuser? [18:33] Tosh discusses her cold plunges and how they’ve helped her build resilience. [25:32] How has Tosh dealt with being an empty-nester? [31:48] Why is writing out your feelings so purposeful and why does it work?

Key Takeaways: 

You have a choice, you can be in your lighthouse, be in power, do the work on yourself, or you can be a person who gets drawn down and gets lost in the mess and drama. You get to choose where you are coming from regardless of where your ex-spouse is coming from. Kindness is clever because you are taking ownership. Change the mindset from kindness being weak to being something you own. Be a better person. Your actions will speak and you’ll feel better about yourself, rather than stooping to their level of negativity. When becoming an empty-nester, explore who you are, what do you like about yourself? Self care is so important. There are four things that you can do if you are feeling lonely that will make you feel better. 

Quotes: 

“If you come from an authentic, honest, kind, place with yourself your operating at a really high vibration, authenticity is the highest  vibration we can offer and operate from, and what we can do is be there for ourselves. And what I realized is when I didn't look after myself I got myself into a bit of a state.” - Tosh Brittan

Guest Bio: 

Tosh Brittan has been a thought changer around divorce since 2014. Believing in a more integrated approach to this difficult, painful, and challenging life event. 

As a divorce coach, MBSR mindfulness teacher and Reiki master teacher Tosh’s client work focuses on emotional and mental well-being and she has created her unique divorce coaching brand - Kindness for Conflict®. 

Her blog began in 2014 at her kitchen table, to emotionally and mentally support others going through divorce. In 2019 she started the Divorce Goddess podcast  (which ranked #41 in the US and #16 UK Relationship charts).

The @divorcegoddess Instagram page is a testament to others seeking a kinder approach to divorce, with many positive, inspiring messages sent from followers worldwide.

Her book Kindness for Conflict is out January 2023 and she co-authored #1 Amazon Best Seller Category Personal Health Mindfulness for Challenging Times with Shamash Alidina and Ceremonies - The Art of Ritual Living with Holistic Fashionista and is a columnist for Expert Magazine.

Tosh loves cold water swimming and often takes a client for their first dip experience! Loves dancing (ex-clubber at heart) and is an empty nester Mum of two young amazing adults. She lives near the South Downs, Hampshire.

Resources: 

The Divorce Goddess Resources 

Kindness for Conflict by Tosh Brittan 

Lesa Koski Website

Lesa’s Online Courses

To receive real-time alerts that your child is safe and to receive $50 off your Soberlink device, visit https://www.soberlink.com/partners/different

The Onward app was made for divorced parents to help track, share, and split their children's expenses. Download The Onward App today for iOS or Android!

Mentioned in this episode:

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About the Podcast

Doing Divorce Different A Podcast Guide to Doing Divorce Differently
Divorce, co-parenting, menopause, marriage, and starting over after 40—Doing Divorce Different is your guide to a healthy, faith filled life transition.

Hosted by Family Law Attorney and Mediator Lesa Koski, Doing Divorce Different is a candid, empowering podcast designed to take the fear out of divorce and guide you toward peace—whether you’re navigating a split, working to stay married, or rebuilding a better life after a major transition. Each week, Lesa brings heart-centered legal insight, emotional support, and holistic wisdom to help you heal, grow, and thrive.

We cover everything from amicable divorce and co-parenting strategies to parenting plans that actually work and support kids in thriving through change. You’ll learn how to prepare for marriage with prenups, revisit your relationship with post-nuptial agreements, and understand what it really takes to stay married or rekindle love after a rough season. If you're in the midst of a grey divorce, wondering how to not get divorced, or questioning whether love can be found again, this show is for you.

Lesa also explores the emotional and physical changes that often accompany midlife and major life shifts. From navigating the impact of menopause on your health, marriage, and mood, to dealing with the loneliness that can come after divorce or empty nesting, you’ll find honest conversations that don’t shy away from real-life challenges. And for those of you in your 40s, 50s, or beyond, you’ll discover what it means to truly build a better life after 40.

Health and wellness are deeply integrated into this journey. Lesa shares insights on the benefits of rest, joy, nutrition, fasting, protein, and bone health, along with the power of movement, community, and exercise to support mental clarity and physical strength. You’ll learn how to take care of yourself with intention—because healing isn’t just emotional, it’s also biological.

Mindset work and self-coaching are recurring tools offered in episodes to help you reframe your story and shift from fear to freedom. And through it all, the show honors the role of faith, spiritual surrender, and letting God lead you through every season. Whether you're leaning into your relationship with God for the first time or deepening a lifelong practice, you’ll hear how surrender can bring peace even in the hardest moments.

You’ll hear real stories from people who have done divorce differently, saved their marriages, or found new love and purpose on the other side. Lesa also brings in conversations about marriages that have stood the test of time, co-parenting through complex seasons, and the realities of parenting after separation while maintaining stability for your kids.

This is not just a podcast about divorce. Doing Divorce Different is about taking back your life, rewriting your future, and trusting that you’re not starting over, you’re starting better. If you’re craving practical advice, soul-level encouragement, and real conversations about creating a healthy, joyful, purpose-driven life, you’ve found your community.

Subscribe now and join Lesa Koski for weekly episodes that will help you grow stronger in your relationships, your health, and your faith, no matter where you’re starting from.

About the Host:
I’ve spent over 25 years helping families navigate amicable divorce as a lawyer and mediator, always focused on protecting what matters most—your kids and your peace of mind. But my mission has expanded. Today, I support women over 40 not just through endings, but in building stronger relationships—and sometimes even saving their marriages. I’m a breast cancer survivor, a cowgirl at heart, a wellness advocate, and a follower of Jesus. My life and faith fuel my passion for helping women thrive.

About your host

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Lesa Koski