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Published on:

11th Apr 2023

Should I Keep the Family Home When I Divorce?

In today’s episode, Certified Divorce Lending Professional Tami Wollensak joins us to discuss how to handle the family home during a divorce. Tami talks about the difference between a certified divorce lending professional and a typical mortgage lender. She gives some excellent tips about budgeting and details to look at if you want to keep the family home after a divorce. There are several things that we don’t think of when looking at affordability, which she ran into during her divorce. Tune in today to gather information to help the mortgage division go smoother during your divorce.

In this episode:

[1:10] Tami's story. [3:50] Would Tami have done anything different with her home when she got divorced? [5:15] What planning tips does Tami have for people going through a divorce regarding their home and budgeting? [8:47] Can a stay-at-home parent still qualify to keep their family home? [9:30] What is the 6-36 Rule? [12:28] Should someone reach out to a mortgage lender like Tami at the start of a divorce? [14:15] What loan options do people have when buying out an ex-spouse? [17:55] How is a certified divorce lending professional different from a typical mortgage lender? 

Key Takeaways: 

If you are happy, your kids will be happy too. If you are less stressed, it’ll reflect on your parenting and the energy in the household. Get honest with yourself about what budgeting will look like post-divorce. Not just if the mortgage will be affordable, but think about your lifestyle, what you are willing to adjust for yourself and your children, and plan using a realistic budget. You’ll likely have to take a higher interest rate when taking over the mortgage, but remember that you will not be stuck with that mortgage forever. If rates drop in the future, you can refinance. 

Quotes: 

“So many of my clients and listeners want to keep the house because they think it's so important for their kids. It's so important for my kids that they stay in their home. Yes, it's nice, but if it's something you aren't going to be able to afford and you want to keep them doing the things they love to do, it's something to consider.” - Lesa Koski

“Take into consideration all the things, not just the month-to-month bills, but all the other things that are going to come into play with your lifestyle.” - Tami Wollensak

Guest Bio: 

Tami Wollensak is a licensed mortgage loan originator and a 25+ year veteran of the industry; she has experience working in multiple roles and facets of the industry. She has discovered her true passion in helping divorcing individuals navigate their home equity solutions while going through the most challenging time of their life. Tami has earned the certification as a Certified Divorce Lending Professional (CDLP®). This specialization provides the ability to identify potential gaps in the agreement that cannot be met during the mortgage process. Tami works with her client’s attorney, mediator, or financial advisor to help guide them through all the options available to ensure a successful outcome regarding the divorcing couple’s real estate. As a Mortgage Loan Originator, Tami’s goal is to educate her clients, take the mystery and anxiety out of the mortgage process, and provide a sense of security and peace to each of them. (NMLS #1963450)

Resources: 

Tami Wollensak, CDLP®

Sr. Mortgage Loan Originator

Certified Divorce Lending Professional

NMLS #1963450

Oak Leaf Community Mortgage is a division of Mutual Federal Bank, Equal Housing Lender, and FDIC insured.

Book a Meeting with Tami

Take or Leave The House Website

Tami Wollensak Facebook 

Tami Wollensak LinkedIn

Tami Wollensak Instagram

Lesa Koski Website  

Lesa’s Online Courses 

To receive real-time alerts that your child is safe and to receive $50 off your Soberlink device, visit https://www.soberlink.com/partners/different
The Onward app was made for divorced parents to help track, share, and split their children's expenses.Download The Onward App today for iOS or Android!


Mentioned in this episode:

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About the Podcast

Doing Life Different with Lesa Koski
Real conversations for women over 40 about faith, fitness, and fresh starts
Mindset, movement, and faith after 40—because midlife isn’t a crisis, it’s your comeback.

Welcome to Doing Life Different with Lesa Koski, the podcast for women over 40 who are ready to rewrite the rules, reclaim their joy, and rediscover their purpose. Whether you're navigating divorce, rediscovering your health, deepening your faith, or learning how to have fun again—you’re in the right place.

Host Lesa Koski—wife, mom, coach, and seasoned mediator—brings real talk, relatable wisdom, and expert interviews to guide you through midlife reinvention with grace and grit.

In each episode, you’ll get practical tools and empowering conversations on:

Mindset & personal growth

Faith & spiritual connection

Fitness, movement & health

Divorce, marriage & relationships

Fun, purpose & starting fresh in the second half of life

This isn’t just self-help. It’s soul-level transformation. Get ready to do life different—because your next chapter starts now.

Lesa also explores the emotional and physical changes that often accompany midlife and major life shifts. From navigating the impact of menopause on your health, marriage, and mood, to dealing with the loneliness that can come after divorce or empty nesting, you’ll find honest conversations that don’t shy away from real-life challenges. And for those of you in your 40s, 50s, or beyond, you’ll discover what it means to truly build a better life after 40.

Health and wellness are deeply integrated into this journey. Lesa shares insights on the benefits of rest, joy, nutrition, fasting, protein, and bone health, along with the power of movement, community, and exercise to support mental clarity and physical strength. You’ll learn how to take care of yourself with intention—because healing isn’t just emotional, it’s also biological.

Mindset work and self-coaching are recurring tools offered in episodes to help you reframe your story and shift from fear to freedom. And through it all, the show honors the role of faith, spiritual surrender, and letting God lead you through every season. Whether you're leaning into your relationship with God for the first time or deepening a lifelong practice, you’ll hear how surrender can bring peace even in the hardest moments.

You’ll hear real stories from people who have done divorce differently, saved their marriages, or found new love and purpose on the other side. Lesa also brings in conversations about marriages that have stood the test of time, co-parenting through complex seasons, and the realities of parenting after separation while maintaining stability for your kids.

This is a podcast about thriving through Cancer, taking back your life, rewriting your future, and trusting that you’re not starting over, you’re starting better. If you’re craving practical advice, soul-level encouragement, and real conversations about creating a healthy, joyful, purpose-driven life, you’ve found your community.

Subscribe now and join Lesa Koski for weekly episodes that will help you grow stronger in your relationships, your health, and your faith, no matter where you’re starting from.

About the Host:
I’ve spent over 25 years helping families navigate amicable divorce as a lawyer and mediator, always focused on protecting what matters most—your kids and your peace of mind. But my mission has expanded. Today, I support women over 40 not just through endings, but in building stronger relationships—and sometimes even saving their marriages. I’m a breast cancer survivor, a cowgirl at heart, a wellness advocate, and a follower of Jesus. My life and faith fuel my passion for helping women thrive.

About your host

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Lesa Koski