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Published on:

11th Apr 2023

Should I Keep the Family Home When I Divorce?

In today’s episode, Certified Divorce Lending Professional Tami Wollensak joins us to discuss how to handle the family home during a divorce. Tami talks about the difference between a certified divorce lending professional and a typical mortgage lender. She gives some excellent tips about budgeting and details to look at if you want to keep the family home after a divorce. There are several things that we don’t think of when looking at affordability, which she ran into during her divorce. Tune in today to gather information to help the mortgage division go smoother during your divorce.

In this episode:

[1:10] Tami's story. [3:50] Would Tami have done anything different with her home when she got divorced? [5:15] What planning tips does Tami have for people going through a divorce regarding their home and budgeting? [8:47] Can a stay-at-home parent still qualify to keep their family home? [9:30] What is the 6-36 Rule? [12:28] Should someone reach out to a mortgage lender like Tami at the start of a divorce? [14:15] What loan options do people have when buying out an ex-spouse? [17:55] How is a certified divorce lending professional different from a typical mortgage lender? 

Key Takeaways: 

If you are happy, your kids will be happy too. If you are less stressed, it’ll reflect on your parenting and the energy in the household. Get honest with yourself about what budgeting will look like post-divorce. Not just if the mortgage will be affordable, but think about your lifestyle, what you are willing to adjust for yourself and your children, and plan using a realistic budget. You’ll likely have to take a higher interest rate when taking over the mortgage, but remember that you will not be stuck with that mortgage forever. If rates drop in the future, you can refinance. 

Quotes: 

“So many of my clients and listeners want to keep the house because they think it's so important for their kids. It's so important for my kids that they stay in their home. Yes, it's nice, but if it's something you aren't going to be able to afford and you want to keep them doing the things they love to do, it's something to consider.” - Lesa Koski

“Take into consideration all the things, not just the month-to-month bills, but all the other things that are going to come into play with your lifestyle.” - Tami Wollensak

Guest Bio: 

Tami Wollensak is a licensed mortgage loan originator and a 25+ year veteran of the industry; she has experience working in multiple roles and facets of the industry. She has discovered her true passion in helping divorcing individuals navigate their home equity solutions while going through the most challenging time of their life. Tami has earned the certification as a Certified Divorce Lending Professional (CDLP®). This specialization provides the ability to identify potential gaps in the agreement that cannot be met during the mortgage process. Tami works with her client’s attorney, mediator, or financial advisor to help guide them through all the options available to ensure a successful outcome regarding the divorcing couple’s real estate. As a Mortgage Loan Originator, Tami’s goal is to educate her clients, take the mystery and anxiety out of the mortgage process, and provide a sense of security and peace to each of them. (NMLS #1963450)

Resources: 

Tami Wollensak, CDLP®

Sr. Mortgage Loan Originator

Certified Divorce Lending Professional

NMLS #1963450

Oak Leaf Community Mortgage is a division of Mutual Federal Bank, Equal Housing Lender, and FDIC insured.

Book a Meeting with Tami

Take or Leave The House Website

Tami Wollensak Facebook 

Tami Wollensak LinkedIn

Tami Wollensak Instagram

Lesa Koski Website  

Lesa’s Online Courses 

To receive real-time alerts that your child is safe and to receive $50 off your Soberlink device, visit https://www.soberlink.com/partners/different
The Onward app was made for divorced parents to help track, share, and split their children's expenses.Download The Onward App today for iOS or Android!


Mentioned in this episode:

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About the Podcast

Doing Divorce Different A Podcast Guide to Doing Divorce Differently
Divorce, co-parenting, menopause, marriage, and starting over after 40—Doing Divorce Different is your guide to a healthy, faith filled life transition.

Hosted by Family Law Attorney and Mediator Lesa Koski, Doing Divorce Different is a candid, empowering podcast designed to take the fear out of divorce and guide you toward peace—whether you’re navigating a split, working to stay married, or rebuilding a better life after a major transition. Each week, Lesa brings heart-centered legal insight, emotional support, and holistic wisdom to help you heal, grow, and thrive.

We cover everything from amicable divorce and co-parenting strategies to parenting plans that actually work and support kids in thriving through change. You’ll learn how to prepare for marriage with prenups, revisit your relationship with post-nuptial agreements, and understand what it really takes to stay married or rekindle love after a rough season. If you're in the midst of a grey divorce, wondering how to not get divorced, or questioning whether love can be found again, this show is for you.

Lesa also explores the emotional and physical changes that often accompany midlife and major life shifts. From navigating the impact of menopause on your health, marriage, and mood, to dealing with the loneliness that can come after divorce or empty nesting, you’ll find honest conversations that don’t shy away from real-life challenges. And for those of you in your 40s, 50s, or beyond, you’ll discover what it means to truly build a better life after 40.

Health and wellness are deeply integrated into this journey. Lesa shares insights on the benefits of rest, joy, nutrition, fasting, protein, and bone health, along with the power of movement, community, and exercise to support mental clarity and physical strength. You’ll learn how to take care of yourself with intention—because healing isn’t just emotional, it’s also biological.

Mindset work and self-coaching are recurring tools offered in episodes to help you reframe your story and shift from fear to freedom. And through it all, the show honors the role of faith, spiritual surrender, and letting God lead you through every season. Whether you're leaning into your relationship with God for the first time or deepening a lifelong practice, you’ll hear how surrender can bring peace even in the hardest moments.

You’ll hear real stories from people who have done divorce differently, saved their marriages, or found new love and purpose on the other side. Lesa also brings in conversations about marriages that have stood the test of time, co-parenting through complex seasons, and the realities of parenting after separation while maintaining stability for your kids.

This is not just a podcast about divorce. Doing Divorce Different is about taking back your life, rewriting your future, and trusting that you’re not starting over, you’re starting better. If you’re craving practical advice, soul-level encouragement, and real conversations about creating a healthy, joyful, purpose-driven life, you’ve found your community.

Subscribe now and join Lesa Koski for weekly episodes that will help you grow stronger in your relationships, your health, and your faith, no matter where you’re starting from.

About the Host:
I’ve spent over 25 years helping families navigate amicable divorce as a lawyer and mediator, always focused on protecting what matters most—your kids and your peace of mind. But my mission has expanded. Today, I support women over 40 not just through endings, but in building stronger relationships—and sometimes even saving their marriages. I’m a breast cancer survivor, a cowgirl at heart, a wellness advocate, and a follower of Jesus. My life and faith fuel my passion for helping women thrive.

About your host

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Lesa Koski