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Published on:

21st Feb 2023

The Unexpected Joy of Heartbreak Through Divorce and Beyond

Today I am joined by award-winning U.K. comedian, author, and podcaster Rosie Wilby. Rosie delivers an empowering view of the unexpected joy of heartbreak. She offers the perspective of opportunities one can gain post-breakup and how society can begin to normalize that breakups can be positive and amicable. Rosie shares with us the idea behind her book, The Breakup Monologues, where she shares about several of the relationships she’s had that have come to an end. Tune in today to uncover the positives that can be gained through heartbreak.

In this episode:

Rosie provides some background on her book, The Breakup Monologues. What made Rosie want to share her past relationships in a book? What are Rosie's major lessons from her breakups? How can you see a breakup as a gift when you're in the thick of it? How many breakups does Rosie talk about in her book? We can start normalizing the idea that divorce can be positive and amicable. How to work through a situation if you feel trapped when desiring a divorce.

Key Takeaways:

Being single can allow us to step back and look at the trajectory of our life and how we want to live as individuals without the pull of what your partner might want. Relationships and marriage get really busy, and being able to step back after a breakup provides excellent opportunities. Breakups provide self-knowledge about what you want in a future relationship, what's important to you, identifying your needs, and what you want to do differently in your next relationship. When you are in the thick of a breakup, reach out and get support. Hire a therapist or talk to a friend who can be supportive. It should be someone who will empower you and lift you up vs. pull you down and speak negatively.

Quotes:

“I do feel that breakups, although they are incredibly painful and really difficult and really challenging times, they do provide an opportunity for reflection and growth, and they can be a catalyst for real positive change.” - Rosie Wilby

“Sometimes growing apart is really healthy growth. Sometimes we just grow individually and in good ways, but we happen to have gone in slightly different directions, and that's not a failing on our parts. We have this really toxic language, these binaries of success and failure, and somehow if we don't stay together, we’ve failed, whereas surely, if we've separated in a really healthy way, that might be really positive and really mature.” - Rosie Wilby

Guest Bio:

Rosie Wilby is an award-winning U.K. comedian, author, and podcaster who has appeared many times on BBC Radio 4 programmes including Woman's Hour, Saturday Live, and Four Thought. Her first book, Is Monogamy Dead?, was longlisted for the Polari First Book Prize and followed a trilogy of solo shows investigating the psychology of love and relationships. Her new book, The Breakup Monologues, is based on her acclaimed podcast of the same name and is published globally by Bloomsbury.

Resources

Rosie Wilby Website

Rosie Wilby's Twitter

Rosie Wilby on TikTok

The Breakup Monologues Instagram

Rosie Wilby's LinkedIn

The Breakup Monologues Book

Lesa Koski Website

Lesa’s Online Courses

Mentioned in this episode:

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About the Podcast

Doing Divorce Different with Lesa Koski
Divorce, co-parenting & midlife comebacks for women over 40
Divorce, co-parenting, menopause, marriage, and starting over after 40—this podcast is your guide to a healthier, faith-filled life transition.

Hosted by family law attorney, mediator, and life coach Lesa Koski, each episode is designed to take the fear out of major life change and guide you toward peace—whether you’re facing separation, navigating a divorce, working to strengthen your relationship, or rebuilding your life in midlife.

You’ll get heart-centered legal clarity, emotional support, and practical tools to help you heal, grow, and move forward with confidence.

Topics include:

Peaceful divorce strategies and mediation support

Co-parenting help and parenting plans that actually work

Prenups, postnups, and how to protect what matters most

Emotional healing, mindset shifts, and confidence after a hard season

Menopause, health changes, and how midlife affects mood, marriage, and motivation

Wellness basics that make a real difference: rest, nutrition, movement, strength, and community

This is more than a show about endings—it’s about becoming the woman who rises stronger, steadier, and clearer on the other side.

About the Host:
Lesa has spent over 25 years helping families through mediation and family law, always focused on protecting what matters most—your kids and your peace of mind. She’s also a breast cancer survivor, wellness advocate, cowgirl at heart, and follower of Jesus who believes your hardest season can become your greatest comeback.

If you’re craving practical guidance, soul-level encouragement, and real conversations about rebuilding life after 40, you’re in the right place.

Website: https://www.lesakoski.com/

About your host

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Lesa Koski