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Published on:

21st Feb 2023

The Unexpected Joy of Heartbreak Through Divorce and Beyond

Today I am joined by award-winning U.K. comedian, author, and podcaster Rosie Wilby. Rosie delivers an empowering view of the unexpected joy of heartbreak. She offers the perspective of opportunities one can gain post-breakup and how society can begin to normalize that breakups can be positive and amicable. Rosie shares with us the idea behind her book, The Breakup Monologues, where she shares about several of the relationships she’s had that have come to an end. Tune in today to uncover the positives that can be gained through heartbreak.

In this episode:

Rosie provides some background on her book, The Breakup Monologues. What made Rosie want to share her past relationships in a book? What are Rosie's major lessons from her breakups? How can you see a breakup as a gift when you're in the thick of it? How many breakups does Rosie talk about in her book? We can start normalizing the idea that divorce can be positive and amicable. How to work through a situation if you feel trapped when desiring a divorce.

Key Takeaways:

Being single can allow us to step back and look at the trajectory of our life and how we want to live as individuals without the pull of what your partner might want. Relationships and marriage get really busy, and being able to step back after a breakup provides excellent opportunities. Breakups provide self-knowledge about what you want in a future relationship, what's important to you, identifying your needs, and what you want to do differently in your next relationship. When you are in the thick of a breakup, reach out and get support. Hire a therapist or talk to a friend who can be supportive. It should be someone who will empower you and lift you up vs. pull you down and speak negatively.

Quotes:

“I do feel that breakups, although they are incredibly painful and really difficult and really challenging times, they do provide an opportunity for reflection and growth, and they can be a catalyst for real positive change.” - Rosie Wilby

“Sometimes growing apart is really healthy growth. Sometimes we just grow individually and in good ways, but we happen to have gone in slightly different directions, and that's not a failing on our parts. We have this really toxic language, these binaries of success and failure, and somehow if we don't stay together, we’ve failed, whereas surely, if we've separated in a really healthy way, that might be really positive and really mature.” - Rosie Wilby

Guest Bio:

Rosie Wilby is an award-winning U.K. comedian, author, and podcaster who has appeared many times on BBC Radio 4 programmes including Woman's Hour, Saturday Live, and Four Thought. Her first book, Is Monogamy Dead?, was longlisted for the Polari First Book Prize and followed a trilogy of solo shows investigating the psychology of love and relationships. Her new book, The Breakup Monologues, is based on her acclaimed podcast of the same name and is published globally by Bloomsbury.

Resources

Rosie Wilby Website

Rosie Wilby's Twitter

Rosie Wilby on TikTok

The Breakup Monologues Instagram

Rosie Wilby's LinkedIn

The Breakup Monologues Book

Lesa Koski Website

Lesa’s Online Courses

Mentioned in this episode:

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A Podcast Guide to Doing Divorce Differently

About the Podcast

Doing Divorce Different A Podcast Guide to Doing Divorce Differently
Divorce, co-parenting, menopause, marriage, and starting over after 40—Doing Divorce Different is your guide to a healthy, faith filled life transition.

Hosted by Family Law Attorney and Mediator Lesa Koski, Doing Divorce Different is a candid, empowering podcast designed to take the fear out of divorce and guide you toward peace—whether you’re navigating a split, working to stay married, or rebuilding a better life after a major transition. Each week, Lesa brings heart-centered legal insight, emotional support, and holistic wisdom to help you heal, grow, and thrive.

We cover everything from amicable divorce and co-parenting strategies to parenting plans that actually work and support kids in thriving through change. You’ll learn how to prepare for marriage with prenups, revisit your relationship with post-nuptial agreements, and understand what it really takes to stay married or rekindle love after a rough season. If you're in the midst of a grey divorce, wondering how to not get divorced, or questioning whether love can be found again, this show is for you.

Lesa also explores the emotional and physical changes that often accompany midlife and major life shifts. From navigating the impact of menopause on your health, marriage, and mood, to dealing with the loneliness that can come after divorce or empty nesting, you’ll find honest conversations that don’t shy away from real-life challenges. And for those of you in your 40s, 50s, or beyond, you’ll discover what it means to truly build a better life after 40.

Health and wellness are deeply integrated into this journey. Lesa shares insights on the benefits of rest, joy, nutrition, fasting, protein, and bone health, along with the power of movement, community, and exercise to support mental clarity and physical strength. You’ll learn how to take care of yourself with intention—because healing isn’t just emotional, it’s also biological.

Mindset work and self-coaching are recurring tools offered in episodes to help you reframe your story and shift from fear to freedom. And through it all, the show honors the role of faith, spiritual surrender, and letting God lead you through every season. Whether you're leaning into your relationship with God for the first time or deepening a lifelong practice, you’ll hear how surrender can bring peace even in the hardest moments.

You’ll hear real stories from people who have done divorce differently, saved their marriages, or found new love and purpose on the other side. Lesa also brings in conversations about marriages that have stood the test of time, co-parenting through complex seasons, and the realities of parenting after separation while maintaining stability for your kids.

This is not just a podcast about divorce. Doing Divorce Different is about taking back your life, rewriting your future, and trusting that you’re not starting over, you’re starting better. If you’re craving practical advice, soul-level encouragement, and real conversations about creating a healthy, joyful, purpose-driven life, you’ve found your community.

Subscribe now and join Lesa Koski for weekly episodes that will help you grow stronger in your relationships, your health, and your faith, no matter where you’re starting from.

About the Host:
I’ve spent over 25 years helping families navigate amicable divorce as a lawyer and mediator, always focused on protecting what matters most—your kids and your peace of mind. But my mission has expanded. Today, I support women over 40 not just through endings, but in building stronger relationships—and sometimes even saving their marriages. I’m a breast cancer survivor, a cowgirl at heart, a wellness advocate, and a follower of Jesus. My life and faith fuel my passion for helping women thrive.

About your host

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Lesa Koski