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Welcome listeners.

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I'm so thankful that you're

here today in this new year.

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I can't even believe it.

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It's gone fast in some ways and then

like sometimes kinda slow in others.

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So I always love the new year

and I hope that you do too.

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It just, it's like a

rebirth and a starting.

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Point.

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So, and it's interesting, what I'm going

to talk about today kinda hit me over

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the head when I was, you know, how I'm

working on that book and it's so fun.

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And thanks to Bob Goff, I have all these

great, great stories that he made me write

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and I was looking at one of my stories

and then I was learning from it still now.

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That's why journaling is so

fun and I highly recommend it.

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But today I wanna talk about.

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And what I learned from my story,

which I'll share with you, I wanna

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talk about why do we do things that

we know we don't want to, and that go

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totally against us, totally against

what we know to be true inside.

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And um, you know, you think when

you hear that, well, of course I

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don't go against, I set boundaries.

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I.

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It became so clear to me in this

story that I wrote and you will

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giggle because it was kind of funny.

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So, and I have to tell you, I hurt my

tailbone, so I'm gonna be a little wiggly

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today, which is another part of why do

we do things when we know that we don't?

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Want to or we should.

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Okay.

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So picture this years ago, it's, you know,

over, it's like 31 years ago and, um,

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we're flying out with my whole family.

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We have one baby at that

time, uh, baby Abigail.

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And we're flying out with my brother and

his baby, and my parents we're gonna see

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in beautiful Hawaii, which was always.

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A wonderful trip.

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I mean, we, we love Hawaii, and

we were there and we thought,

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okay, let's do snorkeling one day.

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So we rent, we got tickets for this

little snorkeling boat that would

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take you out and give you lunch.

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And, um, then you'd come back and

we were able to bring the babies.

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And so I had, you know, Abigail

in her little car seat and we

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got there and we were all kind of

looking because there were like.

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Red flags, no surfing today.

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And the waves were ginormous

and you know, it was really bad.

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There were surf warnings that you could

just see it was, it was not gonna be good.

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And we stood there with a lot of other

people who were going on the boat

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and we're all like, kinda looking

around and we paid a lot of money.

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And then the captains who were probably,

you know, maybe not even college age,

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were like, oh no, we're going out.

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Um, we'll go try to find some,

you know, stiller waters.

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So you're looking at that.

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You're looking at your

baby in the car seat.

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You're seeing these ginormous waves, you

know, from your experience that you can't

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really snorkel in waves, but you paid

the money and everybody else is going.

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So we all kind of look at each other

and we're like, okay, well let's go.

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So we get on this boat.

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It was the wildest ride

I've ever been on, I think.

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And it, it's funny 'cause my

dad and I love roller coasters.

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Nobody else does.

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So there were moments where we would

be out sitting out there watching and

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we're like, ha, this is kinda fun.

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My concern was for my baby

who was in the car seat.

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'cause you just are like, is this safe?

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You know, and, but you're like

with everyone else, you're

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like, oh yeah, it's safe.

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Well.

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It became like the Barama and my poor

mom is, she's just like perfect, right?

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Like all women were that are her

age and she, she's not one that

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would she, I mean, I don't wanna

throw up in front of someone.

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She doesn't wanna throw up

even more in front of someone.

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That's a private matter.

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Well, we're on this boat,

everyone's throwing up.

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My mom has been like.

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She's had motion sickness

since birth, so she's sick.

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But this is the thing, I think on

this whole boat, probably with 40

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people, my dad and I were maybe

the only ones that didn't throw up.

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So anyway, my, we, my husband and

I go kind of down below and we're

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sitting there and you know, rocking.

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And my baby Abby threw up her banana

that I fed her before we left.

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So then you're like, this is.

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This is bad.

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So we're sitting there and we're

just feeling like, what are we doing?

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You know, and, and then you know how it

kind of becomes like you could get silly.

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Okay, so, so my husband and

I both at the same time, our

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eyes are drawn to this darling.

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Older lady with short

gray hair and a mumu.

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You know how old, I mean, I,

she had to be in her eighties.

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She's got her mumu on and she got a

big five gallon bucket between her legs

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and the, the whole family's there and

we're all rocking, and, and she, she

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is sick and she takes her dentures.

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Pulls 'em out and just,

it continues to throw up.

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And then she catches our eyes

and she looks over at us and uh,

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and she just starts smiling and

laughing and we like belly rolled.

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I mean, it was hysterical.

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We will never forget it.

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It was like the best

memory on that darn boat.

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Okay.

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So then they bring us

out to the still water.

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It wasn't still, and it

looked like, you know.

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I don't know, not chocolate

milk, but like that consistency.

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So I jumped in and tried, uh, there

was nothing to be seen, got back on

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the boat and we're all sitting there

trying to like get our, you know.

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Sea legs on and then they go lunchtime.

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I mean, they went through

everything and nobody ate.

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I didn't even eat except I, there

was this little boy, I don't know,

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he was probably like six or seven.

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He goes running by me

with a burger, you know?

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And it's just this crazy, and then he

is just tossing his cookies all over us.

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Right.

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You know, right as he runs by.

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It was so disgusting.

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And do you know.

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They did not give us our money back.

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And because I'm the attorney

in the family, I'm, I'm nice.

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I'm a mediator, but I

had to write the letter.

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I think I got, it was really

hard and I think they gave, I

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didn't wanna like go to court.

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I think they gave us half our money back.

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Are you kidding me?

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So, okay.

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That one I'm gonna go.

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Alright.

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It was kind of worth the memories.

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Maybe now it probably, maybe it was,

it's a funny memory of the trip.

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But why would we, why did we go?

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We all knew it wasn't gonna be a good

scene, but be, it's just like, you're

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just like in with these people and you

just go, okay, so it's so interesting.

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So this has been a week ago now that

I hurt my tailbone or over that,

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and it was, we've, we have snow here

and it's kind of back and forth.

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We used to have snow all the

time, and now it's like, eh.

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Some winters we do, some we don't.

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So when we get snow, we get all excited.

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You wanna do everything?

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And so I hadn't skate skied.

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So there's two different

kinds of cross country skiing.

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There's like classic and

then there's skate skiing.

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So skate skiing's a little more.

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Rigorous takes a little t you

know, you gotta like kind of know

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what you're doing and I was kinda

excited to go do it however it

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was before we got a lot of snow.

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So I went outside and I fed my

horses in the barn and it was really

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icy and hard and I told my hubby.

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I think I'm gonna go on a

little jog and a walk today.

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I think I'd rather do that because

the snow feels really icy and I don't

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think that's a good idea for me.

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And he was like, come on,

I wanna do it together.

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You know, we're getting like closer to

like, he might, you know, retire soon.

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And we're thinking, what, what

do we like to do together?

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We like to golf, we like to walk.

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He doesn't love to walk, so it's like.

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Just sounded like vigorous and like, yes,

I can go do this and be like, amazing.

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So we get out there

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and it was like being on an

ice rink in the slippery.

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Long skis and if anybody cross

country skis, it's not like downhill.

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I love downhill too, but

you can kind of control.

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It was like ice, sheer hard ice and you

just, you couldn't even catch a glide.

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Now my husband was able to do it

'cause he's really good and he does

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it a lot and it, it kind of bugged me.

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And here's the.

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I did it anyway, even

though I had no control.

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I could not, I couldn't

get my equilibrium.

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I couldn't get my groove going because

it was so icy and I fell so hard.

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I swear it like shook my brain

and that hurts on your tailbone.

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Um, I mean you, especially when it's like

pure ice and it right before it happened.

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Now he will deny this.

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My husband was making fun of me.

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We were kind of mad at each other

because he says I don't listen to

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him, which I don't think that's true.

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'cause he said he was trying

to tell me how to do it.

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I think he was making fun

of me and then I fell.

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Then I like, I think I maybe cried a

little bit and I was so ticked off and

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I took my skis off and I started walking

back to where the truck was and I'm like,

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you didn't ski, just get away from me.

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And well, then I put my skis

back on because I was so mad.

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'cause this is what my husband

kept saying, the conditions are

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great, these are great conditions.

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And I'm like, this is ice.

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Like what?

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I'm like, you put my skis on.

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I want you to put my skis on.

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He went, he couldn't,

his boots were too big.

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But, um, so even though I knew.

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That I shouldn't go out that day

I did, and then I got hurt, which

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kind of wrecked some of my workouts

for the following week or two.

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So, um, then, but then here I didn't stop.

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So then I'm like, I'm

gonna learn how to do this.

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I can do this.

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So I like you just go and I put

the skis back on and I kept going

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down this flat thing, which was

good practice, but I did fall again

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and it wasn't as bad, but it hurt.

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And so I got in the car, in the truck.

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He came and I felt like I wanted to be

mad at him, but it really couldn't be.

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I was really, really ticked off at myself

because I knew that I shouldn't go, and

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the minute I put my skis on, on that ice.

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I knew it was a disaster waiting

to happen, and yet I did it.

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I did it because I want

it to look good, I guess.

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Like cool, like I can do this.

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I wanted to see maybe if

it would work, but I knew.

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So you, we have that knowing inside of us.

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And I can't help but wonder, you guys,

you know how this is on my website,

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that Soso method, um, where you do

your self coaching, and I say soso

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because it's, there's three things

under the S that I'll start with.

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S So I'm being funny, which I

shouldn't try to do 'cause I'm not.

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But, um, I can't help but wonder if

I would've sat down and done my mind.

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Work.

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I don't think I would've

gone skiing that day.

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I, and I think, I wish that I would use

it even more than I do because if you

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sit, if, if I would have, and sometimes

we just don't have the time, right?

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But if I would've just been still sat

in that and then, um, started with

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a decision, how did I want to feel?

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I want it to feel good, but I

wanted to feel good about making.

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The decision that was right for me.

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And instead I used the

thought, well this is cool.

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This is something we can do in the future.

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I need to go do this.

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I wasn't looking at, it's icy.

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I like to work out, I like to walk.

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I don't wanna wreck myself for that.

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And um, and then that, and then what

I try to do is surrender things to

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God kind of all the way through.

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And then I would've looked at the

feeling like, what am I feeling?

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And I would've been like,

well, I'm feeling like.

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Kind of like I'm holding back,

like I don't really wanna go.

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Could have really examined that and then

done The thought behind it is so big.

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The thought behind it is,

um, I want to be a vibrant.

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Couple as we age, and I thought going

out and doing that would make me vibrant.

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And oops, it did the opposite.

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It made me look like a granny.

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I mean, I had, I think I had everyone

over the next day for Christmas and um, I.

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I couldn't walk around like normal.

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I wasn't able to hold my grandchildren.

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I mean, usually I'm really

So it that didn't work.

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And so I think if I could have

looked at what I was thinking

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and really thought hard about.

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Are these the conditions?

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I still, I did go skiing again after

that in the light, fluffy snow, even

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though I was still a little bit sore.

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Um, but I just took it easy 'cause I

wanted to, and I thought through it.

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But I just think it's so

interesting how the, that mind math.

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Um, doing that mind math and really

looking at what we think, even if we

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would've done it before that boat in Maui.

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Now, like I said, it is fun to have those

funny memories and they're still gonna

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come up, um, no matter what, but it does,

it does make me stop and contemplate.

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So much time has been wasted

from me going against.

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I know I should or shouldn't do.

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And letting not, you know, surrendering

to God and doing his will, his passion

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that he's put on my heart, being the

person he wants me to be, um, which

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matches what I wanna be 'cause he's in me.

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But it's like there have been

so many times in my life wasted.

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On the wrong things, on doing

things that don't fill me.

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And that's not to be mixed

up with if there is like a

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greater good on the other side.

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Like say here, I mean here's an example.

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I, one of my, my big things is

family and babies, and I wanna have.

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The best connection with my grand babies.

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So sometimes, you know, like maybe one is

sick and the, and the mama calls me and

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says, can you come and watch the baby?

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And I think, uh, I kind of don't want

to because, well, I don't wanna get sick

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or, um, I'm maybe busy doing something.

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But if I remember that one of my huge

purposes is to have that connection.

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With my grand baby, I know that I

can change my mindset and know, oh.

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I'm going, I'm going because

I wanna take care of them.

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'cause I want that connection.

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And so that's where, if it fits

your true purpose, then yes,

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you need to sometimes give up.

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We need to serve.

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You know, I was even saying to my hubby,

like, I don't always love to cook.

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Um, but sometimes he's so

appreciative and honestly.

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When I know that I'm doing it for him,

um, because we can sit down and have a

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healthy meal and it bring, and he feels

so appreciative of it, it makes it more

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fun to make it, if that makes any sense.

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So it's kind of like a juggling act.

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Friends, we're all like, just

kind of getting to know our little

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brains, which is so fun and something

I wanna do way more of in: 2026

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So come along with me.

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Let's do it.

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And what I want y'all to know.

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I do have, I haven't given

up on my, my divorce clients.

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I am here for you and if you are a woman.

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40 plus or around there who's been

through a divorce or going through

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a rough spot in their marriage.

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There is a school community that you

can join that I am at coaching you,

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teaching you every Wednesday at noon.

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And you can just see in the show

notes, I'll have a, a way to sign up.

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It is $47 a month.

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And you get me for an hour every

week and other people can join.

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It's a positive place

where we work on mindset.

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Um, I'm not a therapist.

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I'm not your attorney, but I can

give you some legal information and

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I can help you coach so that you

can change that mindset and when

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you're going through something hard.

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Like divorce, you need community,

positive community surrounding

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you, and you need your mind, right?

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So I'd love to see you there.

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Um, subscribe to this.

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I'm here for you every week, um, with

new, um, and exciting information.

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Like why do we do things that

go against what we really want?

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Thanks so much for being here.

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Have a beautiful week.