Holiday Ready: Navigating Financial Independence Post-Divorce with James Alexander

Lesa Koski: 00:00:00

Welcome listeners.

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I'm really excited for today because

I think I'm going to learn a lot.

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And I know you are too.

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I have James Alexander with me and

he is a certified financial planner.

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James Alexander: Tell me again.

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Lesa Koski: Yeah.

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Ed's edge.

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James Alexander: It's called Ed's edge.

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Lesa Koski: I don't want to.

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I'm not good at that.

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But, so I know that you kind of share

financial information to help like

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the regular guy figure things out.

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And today we're going to talk about,

creating a financial plan after divorce,

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how things change and how do you know

who to go to and who to trust for help

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when you're coming up with that plan.

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And then I kind of warned James just

because, you know, I'm always wanting

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to learn how to grow my business.

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I want to talk to him a little bit

about, You know how he built his

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practice in five years so quickly.

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So, I think that'll be interesting for

listeners too, you know, because a lot

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of people when you're going through a

divorce, maybe starting something new, I

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know a lot of women start something new.

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And so I think that's why

that's an important piece.

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But before we jump into all of that,

James, I want to get to know you better.

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And I want the listeners to, can

you just share with us your story

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as to what brought you into this

line of work and here today?

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Okay.

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James Alexander: Most definitely.

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And thank you so much for having me, Lisa.

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I absolutely love what you're

doing with this podcast series.

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A little bit of background on myself,

going way back to when I was a teenager,

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I was actually a child of divorce.

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my parents were divorced when I was

13 years old and looking back, some of

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it had to do with money and finances.

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And so, you know, as I, I was

ignorant at the time, right?

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I'm a teenager, but as I've learned,

a lot along the way, my goal is

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always to, for the clients that I

work with to provide them certainly

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some peace of mind around money, but

allow them to thrive financially.

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And so how did I get to that?

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That goal is, I'm a big, big numbers guy.

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I majored in math and finance.

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I originally wanted to be a math

professor because I love helping people.

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and I quickly realized

there's a mentor I talked to.

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I went to Loyola university

in downtown Chicago.

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I quickly realized if I didn't

enjoy that, there wasn't enough

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fallback options for myself.

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And so I started in the finance, business

and just absolutely fell in love with it.

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Lisa, what I also learned within

all these numbers and statistics

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and probability is with finance,

it's personal, it humanizes us.

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And, that's one of my passions is to

allow people to really see money as fuel,

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not necessarily put their self worth

towards it and other potential issues.

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So long story short, I graduated Loyola.

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I was fortunate enough

to receive an internship.

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Now this was in 2008.

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I think most of us know what happened

in: 2008

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And so I saw a lot of mistakes

people made very early on

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when I was learning the ropes.

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I worked for a company called

Scott trade, and some people know

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about them from those helicopter

commercials way back when to 7 trades.

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And we used to trade for people.

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And then I, they were

acquired by TD Ameritrade.

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I learned a lot along the way and

decided I wanted to, partner up

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with another gentleman here who

owned this company since: 2005

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go independent and really roll up my

sleeves and help people financially.

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Lesa Koski: Awesome.

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Well, I'm glad to hear it.

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And I liked the idea that you thought

about being a professor, because

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I think so much of this is making

things simple for some people.

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And I think what I've learned

through my life, I used to

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be so terrified of finances.

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And I have a lot of clients, whether

it's the woman or the man, there's

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generally one person who takes care

of the finances during a marriage.

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And it's so scary if you're

not the person who took care of

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them and now you're going out.

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And what I try to share with

people is in my own journey,

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I have learned it's not scary.

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It's actually pretty simple.

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And if you can just tell

yourself, I am a person learning.

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You know, how to be great

with finances and enjoying it.

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And if you can believe that you're

going to just set the stage to a better

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relationship, because it is so emotional.

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We all carry baggage, regarding finances.

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James Alexander: Oh, I

completely echo that sentiment.

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it is scary.

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And I would add on my belief as

to why it's scary to most people.

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they don't teach it.

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We learn about a lot, but we don't

learn about this financial world.

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And there's also a sense of guilt.

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You know, especially post a divorce of if

I wasn't the one handling the finances.

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I feel bad about that.

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What if I talk to somebody or ask

a neighbor, even seek an advisor,

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they're going to judge me and

you're a hundred percent right.

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First off, do not feel

bad about this stuff.

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But secondly, it can be very

simple, much simpler than you

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think with the right education.

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Lesa Koski: Okay, so if you're working

with somebody and they've just gone

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through a divorce, how do you help them?

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James Alexander: You bet.

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I've been blessed to be able to

serve a lot of those folks and, step

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number one, this is probably one of

the few non financial parts of my

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job is I really want to make sure

that they're in a good headspace.

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if we're not, we want to talk about

that a little bit more, as I just

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mentioned, some of the financial emotions

involved and what have you, because,

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we need to start attacking some things

in a great way to help ourselves.

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And if we're not in a motivational mind

to do that, it doesn't have to be massive,

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but if we're not in a good headspace, it's

going to be overwhelming, even the basics.

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So that's really step number

one in creating a financial

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plan is be ready to do that.

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Lesa Koski: I have to ask, how

do you help someone get ready?

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James Alexander: Yes.

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So we talk a lot about goals and that's

a buzzword in our world, but I want to

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talk about goals in a non financial way.

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So instead of, I want to retire by 65 and

live on this amount of money, or I want to

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be able to put my kids through college and

it's going to cost this, I want to talk

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about what's going on in your world today.

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What's frustrating.

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What's exciting.

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Let's balance the two and let's

live in the present for a minute

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before we talk about the future.

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So we'll talk about the future and I

really want to not just hear their words,

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but hear how they interpret things.

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What I mean by that is.

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I can tell very quickly if someone

gets excited about a certain topic,

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that's what we're going to start with.

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Because financial planning

is a snowball effect.

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The minute we start

accomplishing one thing, we get

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motivated and we get excited.

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Okay, what's next?

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It's just getting going.

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That's the hard part.

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So if you picture a snowball

down the hill, that's so

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true with financial planning.

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and it's talking about those non

financial pieces first, before we.

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I want to lay out all the cards is

what, how I say it, what do you have,

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what's left after this dust has settled

and, I don't want to talk about it

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in the first meeting for clients, but

it's important to understand what you

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have, how it's titled, is it an IRA?

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Is it a taxable account?

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Do you have the home?

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What's the value of the home?

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What any debt payments, any

income streams that changed

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all these pieces to the puzzle.

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Let's just talk about them.

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We're not going to address them quite yet

because again, the overwhelming piece,

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if we just have added, that said step

number three in the creating a financial

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plan, post divorce is some easy wins.

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That you can accomplish.

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for example, odds are you'll need

to update some beneficiaries,

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that those are going to change

insurance needs probably change.

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It can be as simple as I don't need that

term life insurance, or I do need term

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life insurance or, you know, other factors

there, just some quick updates, to feel

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like, again, you're making progress.

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And then we start with the meat and

potatoes of it all of, I do my homework

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on the, the laying the cards out.

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Those that don't want to work with an

advisor, there are so much, there's

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so much information now to help you.

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Start with those basics, run a retirement

calculator based on what you have,

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knowing how much I put in, et cetera.

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that's what I do is as I look at

everything and what most people, probably

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the final thought on these step by

step pieces is before we talk about

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the future, most of us want to make

sure today is covered, you know, what

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income sources have changed for me.

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What expenses have changed?

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And here's the silver lining

immediate, post immediate divorces.

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It's from a financial standpoint, it's

you and the kids, if you have the kids.

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And so those numbers are going to change

in a good way for you, most likely.

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just being aware of that and

what that means for you is key.

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Lesa Koski: And when you say those

numbers are going to change for you

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in a good way, I think people really

want to hold on to that because I

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don't think most people feel that way.

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So what do you mean by that?

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James Alexander: Yes.

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So most likely, again, everyone's

different here, but most likely

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your costs, your expenses are less

because there's no longer two of you.

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Right.

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There's one individual.

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Right.

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some people who had divorces,

their priorities were different.

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Now you can just have what you value,

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Lesa Koski: right?

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James Alexander: Maybe you

want to take those vacations

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instead of buying the extra car.

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you can really be selfish and

selfish has such a negative

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connotation attached to it.

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Lisa, I feel, certainly there's levels

of selfishness that are bad, but when

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it comes to financial selfishness.

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I have seen over and over again, the

minute you become financially selfish for

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you, as long as you have a good heart and

want to help your family, you need to be

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in a good spot before you can help others,

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Lesa Koski: right?

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James Alexander: And those that are just.

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they have regret later.

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So I'd encourage everyone here to really

dig deep and think about yourself and

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what you want for you and your new family.

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Lesa Koski: Well, I think you

talked about in the beginning,

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you look at what they value.

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And I think if they can, like you said,

now they can put the finances into what

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they're valuing so that they can be.

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better for their kids.

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And so it is an opportunity.

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I think it is an opportunity for people.

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So I love how you do that.

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And I said we were going to talk

about what changes, and I think

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that was kind of thrown in there.

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Income changes, expenses

change, insurance.

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Beneficiaries.

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Is there anything I'm missing?

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I just want to make sure anything else

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James Alexander: you bet it ties to the

beneficiaries, but odds are, if you had

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a will or a trust, you'll need to update

those as well, making sure that what

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you want to have happen, God forbid,

something occurs to you, not just death.

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But an incapacitation where I'm

unable to make mental decisions for

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myself, that I have the right people

in place to help those that I love.

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that's probably the

last key initial change.

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yeah, I think everything else you covered.

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Lesa Koski: All right.

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Wonderful.

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Okay.

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So now I have to ask you, because this

has been something that my husband

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and I kind of have had trouble.

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I mean, I think we just now have

a financial advisor we're going to

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use and we're probably getting close

to retirement and it's, it's scary.

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And I think, especially for my husband,

because he feels like, and he has a big

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job, he has the big job in our house.

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but it's been hard for him to

find someone that he can trust.

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And I know there are

different financial advisors.

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There are some who kind of

take all your money and.

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get a percentage, right?

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So this is really elementary.

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I know, James, I'm not like

going deep here, but how do you,

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it is hard to trust someone.

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if someone is lost and needing

someone, what's the best way for

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them to find help that they can

count on and feel good about it?

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James Alexander: Great question.

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I am in the trust business.

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Most all financial advisors

are in the trust business.

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This is important stuff.

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This is our financial

life we're talking about.

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I'm going to take a quick step

back before I answer that.

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forgive me for those that are inquiring

about, do I need an advisor or not?

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Not everybody does.

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some very practical questions you can ask

yourself to determine if you need one.

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One is, do I have the time to do this?

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if you don't have the time,

it's going to be tough.

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If you do, more power to you.

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That's wonderful.

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Do I have the desire?

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I'm not talking about this excites you

every single morning, but if you feel

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motivated enough to start tackling it.

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if this is something that is like, you'd

rather be going to the dentist than

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looking at your financial statements,

you probably don't have the desire.

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And then do you have the expertise?

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Now I'll use some color there.

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You don't need to be the expert

or have credentials, but do

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I know enough about this?

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And if I don't, am I

willing to educate myself?

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And then do I have the.

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Discipline to stay the path.

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Let's be honest with

news and all this, noise.

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coming our way in our world.

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Can I stay the course

and not get distracted?

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And so if the answer is yes to all

those, you don't need one, but you

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just have to be honest with yourself.

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if any of those answers are no or

certainly more than one, it will be more

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difficult and that's when you explore.

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And so find the right person?

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How do I, how do I find someone that gets

me and that I can trust is, you know, in

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today's world, what's so nice is there's

a lot of information about advisors.

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you can certainly do a Google search.

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You can read about them, see

what their values are internally.

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Part of the reason why we did the

podcast is we wanted to show who we are.

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We're not for everybody.

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but who's this human being?

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you can certainly talk to people that

think along the same financial lens

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as yourself and see who they work

with and ask them what's working.

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Also ask them what's not working for you.

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Highly, highly encourage those

to work with someone who's

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held to the fiduciary standard.

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That is defined by someone who is, and

this sounds too obvious, Lisa, but who is

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obligated to act in the best interest of

the client above their own at all times.

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And if they're not, there's

repercussions that you can

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take because they sign an oath.

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And so that's important to, to work with

a fiduciary, but it's more than that.

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You know, how do they charge?

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Some people charge, a flat fee,

a fixed dollar amount every

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single year to work with them.

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Some people charge, like you

mentioned, a percent of assets.

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you know, the ones where you feel like

that there's really, you don't see many

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charges, No one works for free, but

that's when I would start asking some

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more questions, to an advisor about

where, how are you actually getting paid?

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Because I've been blessed to work with

a lot of people where they think it's

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free and then they realize, Oh, he's

getting a commission by recommending.

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Right.

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Was he actually recommending

that for him or for me?

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understanding how they're paid, if

I can summarize everything and how

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do I find the right person to trust?

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Understanding how they're paid.

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Talking to others that work,

that key caveat that think along

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the same financial lens as you.

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If you talk to your neighbor who has

significantly more or less assets at

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you with very, very different goals,

they might have different needs and that

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advisor solves their needs, but it doesn't

solve your needs, areas of expertise.

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And so talking to people with like

that and finding out some feedback,

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and then online, there is a lot

more information about advisors.

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I would highly encourage people, we

love to buy, we hate to be sold, and

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that's typically why we don't want to

pick up the phone and proactively call.

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Talk to two or three and preface

right away, look, I'm not making a

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decision for at least a month or two.

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I'm just gathering information and

then you can get a feel on how they

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work, how they don't, and if you

ever feel like you don't have a good

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vibe at the end, when you leave the

meeting, probably means it's not a fit.

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Lesa Koski: So

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James Alexander: hopefully that helps.

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Lesa Koski: Yep.

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That's extremely helpful.

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And, everything you're saying makes sense.

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I love those questions

about meeting an advisor.

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And I think that's where we kind of

missed the boat where we thought we

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can figure this out, we can do this.

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And we just kind of kept blowing

it off and not really doing it.

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so important if you're

younger than me, jump on this.

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but I'm really excited because I do

feel pretty good about who I have.

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And I'm just going to ask you.

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Do you work in, what state do you work in?

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James Alexander: I am, I'm

in the state of Illinois.

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So we, our office is in

the suburb of Chicago.

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That said, I am licensed in all states.

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We are what's called federally,

federally registered.

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So certainly can work remotely.

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Lesa Koski: That's what I was wondering.

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So anyone listening to this.

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I'm going to have your information and the

show notes can go and find you and work

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with you if they like what they're hearing

and think that it would be a good fit.

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You know, I think it would be a great idea

for listeners to listen to your podcast.

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James Alexander: We love giving back

amongst everything that I've talked about.

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Lisa says we love educating people.

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So yes, would welcome those conversations.

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Lesa Koski: I love it.

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I love that you're educating

and I love that I get to learn.

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So thank you for that.

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But I do have to, I

have to pick your brain.

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I said this in the beginning about that

subject of how did you grow your business?

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I mean, in five years, it's

hard to grow a business.

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I'm a, you know, solo and, it's hard to

grow your business in five years, even

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like to make a, I mean, you make a profit,

but to make, you made a big profit.

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James Alexander: I did.

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I was blessed.

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So I've been in this industry

a little over 15 years now.

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the last five years is when I decided

to go out on my own and become that.

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fiduciary advisor, independent

registered investment advisor.

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And so, how did I get there?

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The first 10 years of my career, when I

was with Scott trade and TD Ameritrade,

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I worked my way up the corporate ladder.

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I was in five different branch

offices in the Illinois area.

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They were bouncing me around

for certain needs and all that.

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what I learned along the way is

I talked to thousands of people.

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Over those 10 years, my role at the time

was more of a consultant and then I'd

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be end up becoming a branch manager.

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And so what I learned along the first

10 years is, You know, helping people

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solve money problems is one thing, but

understanding their emotions around

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money and what motivates them, what makes

them tick is really where the bread and

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butter is at as an advisor and really

leaning into getting them excited.

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I bring this up as to how I was able to

grow my practice because I kept in touch

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with those people that thought the same

way I did, that liked talking to me.

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This is a relationship business, a

trust business, like I mentioned.

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So I kept in touch and, you know,

I had non competes and everything.

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When I left, when those are up,

I reached out to those folks and

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just said, Hey, how's it going?

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And so that expedited some things

for me with growing my clientele.

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And, once I had that, I'm focusing

on solving every need they have

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and motivating them along the way.

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And I've been very fortunate to receive

probably, you know, 40 referrals in

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the five years, because if people

like talking about people that they

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enjoy working with, it's human nature.

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Hey, you have to talk to this person.

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They're going to take care of you.

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They're going to make sure you're good.

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it looks good for them

as long as you deliver.

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And so referrals is a big one.

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that's how I was able to

really expedite things.

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Lesa Koski: So, and I love that.

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And your business is different than

a lot because it is about building

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relationships where, in divorce, sometimes

you'll get someone coming back, when

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they're fighting down the line, but

it is a little different that way.

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It's a little bit different, but

I think kind of what you're saying

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is to serve people well, and

you're going to feel good about it.

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And your business is going to

grow because the word of mouth

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is going to Get out there.

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James Alexander: Exactly right.

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I, there are stories I've heard that

the spouse hasn't, has not been told

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yet and they will share it with me.

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And you know, it's very, I feel

very fulfilled in my career by

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being able to, take this scary

topic of money and simplify it and

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allow people to thrive financially.

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and that's my focus.

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And you know, everything else

should take care of itself.

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Lesa Koski: Well, I love that because

I want to make everything less scary.

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So James, I appreciate you being here.

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Let's just end it with, let me know

how again, people can reach you and

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I'll have it in the show notes, but

just tell them if they're listening

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and want to check you out quick.

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James Alexander: Of course.

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Yes.

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So how you can reach me,

our website is, edge F a.

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com.

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That's E D G E.

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F as in Frank, a as an apple.

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com.

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my information is on there

along with our podcast.

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And there's a contact us button right

there where you can shoot a quick email.

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Or my direct line is on that website also.

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Lesa Koski: Listeners, if you're

needing some financial help and you've

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answered the questions about needing a

financial advisor, give James a call.

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You seem like a great guy and I'm

so thankful that you took the time

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to be on doing divorce different.

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Thanks, James.

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James Alexander: Thanks so

much for having me, Lisa.

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Lesa Koski: Take good care.