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Published on:

26th Dec 2023

Encore: Untangling Alimony: The Financial Threads of Divorce

Are you in the beginning steps of a divorce process and wondering how spousal support or maintenance works? This encore episode walks through everything you need to know from family law attorney, Michelle Kniess. She discusses what information is necessary to determine maintenance support to ensure that both sides are equally represented. Michelle and I also talk about the difference between how I support my clients through mediation and how she helps her clients 1:1. We talk about what it looks like if the person receiving spousal support moves in with someone new and how that can impact the amount they get. Tune in to learn what you need to be aware of while going through a divorce that requires maintenance support and how to know what to ask for. 

In this episode:

  • [4:05] Michelle shares her story of how she got into her current career.
  • [8:31] What does it look like when Michelle is working with a client and determining what they need for maintenance?
  • [13:57] What is the expectation of how long alimony will last, and what are the expectations for the person getting maintenance? 
  • [17:28] When does maintenance end and what factors go into the duration?
  • [19:16] What happens when the person getting maintenance moves in with someone and is sharing expenses? 
  • [23:20] Can a couple make the decision to determine their own agreement on maintenance that the court cannot change?

Key Takeaways: 

  • [7:15] It’s so important for you to understand what your expenses are and what they’re going to be after divorce so you can understand if spousal support is needed (and if it’s available), or if there are things you need to change regarding your lifestyle, home, or job to be able to stay within your budget.
  • [15:48] The person receiving the maintenance can do what they want with their life, if they don’t want to work, they don’t have to, but at some point the court will assume that there’s going to be a level of income earned or that should be earned if the person is fully capable of generating income on their own. 
  • [23:23] There are three things that you have to talk about with maintenance, and that is amount, duration and modifiability. If it is ordered by the court then it can be modifiable because the court and the law recognize that there’s changes in circumstances that can happen as life moves forward. 

Quotes: 

[9:02] “When then your marriage is ending and you're finding yourself in this position where you're going to have to be separate and no longer follow this plan, we have to take a look at what are the resources and what are the needs? I mean, that's about as basic as I can put it. And it's a very emotional topic for parties, whether you're on the receiving side or the paying side.” - Michelle Kniess

[21:00] “So you're examining this relationship and trying to make all sorts of crystal ball predictions about it. When you really have no idea what's going to happen there. One thing that's really important about cohabitation is there is no legal obligation attached to that for the person living with the obligee spouse to support that person.” - Michelle Kniess 

[27:29] “A buyout means perhaps somebody gets more property than they would otherwise get just to pay for perhaps a care on waiver or part of the maintenance award.” - Michelle Kniess

Guest Bio: 

Michelle Kniess devotes her entire practice to family law in Minnesota and Wisconsin. Her practice focuses on divorce, custody and parenting time, spousal maintenance, child support, and property valuation and division, including business interests. Michelle practiced as a business litigation attorney prior to pursuing a career in family law. She owned and managed a boutique family law practice for nearly nine years. Michelle brings many years of experience and vast knowledge of family law, in both Minnesota and Wisconsin. 

Michelle received her Juris Doctor from the University of Wisconsin-Madison in 2005 and her Bachelor of Science degree in Business Management from the University of Wisconsin-La Crosse in 2002. 

Resources: 

Messerli Kramer (since the recording of this episode, Michelle has now moved to Messerli Kramer) 

Lesa Koski Website

Lesa’s Online Courses

Lesa’s Masterclass

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I am so honored to introduce my FREE Co-Parenting Masterclass. This masterclass shares tools to co-parent well even with a difficult co-parent. You will learn the 5 C's of a Co-Parenting Plan and a free bonus resource with Certified Divorce Lending Specialist, Tami Wollensak, sharing what you want to consider regarding the family home. Sign up to receive a video replay at https://www.lesakoski.com/co-parenting-masterclass

Mentioned in this episode:

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About the Podcast

Doing Life Different with Lesa Koski
Real conversations for women over 40 about faith, fitness, and fresh starts
Mindset, movement, and faith after 40—because midlife isn’t a crisis, it’s your comeback.

Welcome to Doing Life Different with Lesa Koski, the podcast for women over 40 who are ready to rewrite the rules, reclaim their joy, and rediscover their purpose. Whether you're navigating divorce, rediscovering your health, deepening your faith, or learning how to have fun again—you’re in the right place.

Host Lesa Koski—wife, mom, coach, and seasoned mediator—brings real talk, relatable wisdom, and expert interviews to guide you through midlife reinvention with grace and grit.

In each episode, you’ll get practical tools and empowering conversations on:

Mindset & personal growth

Faith & spiritual connection

Fitness, movement & health

Divorce, marriage & relationships

Fun, purpose & starting fresh in the second half of life

This isn’t just self-help. It’s soul-level transformation. Get ready to do life different—because your next chapter starts now.

Lesa also explores the emotional and physical changes that often accompany midlife and major life shifts. From navigating the impact of menopause on your health, marriage, and mood, to dealing with the loneliness that can come after divorce or empty nesting, you’ll find honest conversations that don’t shy away from real-life challenges. And for those of you in your 40s, 50s, or beyond, you’ll discover what it means to truly build a better life after 40.

Health and wellness are deeply integrated into this journey. Lesa shares insights on the benefits of rest, joy, nutrition, fasting, protein, and bone health, along with the power of movement, community, and exercise to support mental clarity and physical strength. You’ll learn how to take care of yourself with intention—because healing isn’t just emotional, it’s also biological.

Mindset work and self-coaching are recurring tools offered in episodes to help you reframe your story and shift from fear to freedom. And through it all, the show honors the role of faith, spiritual surrender, and letting God lead you through every season. Whether you're leaning into your relationship with God for the first time or deepening a lifelong practice, you’ll hear how surrender can bring peace even in the hardest moments.

You’ll hear real stories from people who have done divorce differently, saved their marriages, or found new love and purpose on the other side. Lesa also brings in conversations about marriages that have stood the test of time, co-parenting through complex seasons, and the realities of parenting after separation while maintaining stability for your kids.

This is a podcast about thriving through Cancer, taking back your life, rewriting your future, and trusting that you’re not starting over, you’re starting better. If you’re craving practical advice, soul-level encouragement, and real conversations about creating a healthy, joyful, purpose-driven life, you’ve found your community.

Subscribe now and join Lesa Koski for weekly episodes that will help you grow stronger in your relationships, your health, and your faith, no matter where you’re starting from.

About the Host:
I’ve spent over 25 years helping families navigate amicable divorce as a lawyer and mediator, always focused on protecting what matters most—your kids and your peace of mind. But my mission has expanded. Today, I support women over 40 not just through endings, but in building stronger relationships—and sometimes even saving their marriages. I’m a breast cancer survivor, a cowgirl at heart, a wellness advocate, and a follower of Jesus. My life and faith fuel my passion for helping women thrive.

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