How to Reclaim Your Value After Divorce & Build a Business You Love | Heather Quick on Empowering Women

Speaker: 00:00:01

Welcome listeners.

2

: 00:00:02

I am thankful that you're here today.

3

: 00:00:05

I have Heather Quick.

4

: 00:00:07

She's a big deal.

5

: 00:00:08

She is a big time attorney in Florida

and she's got a really unique, authentic

6

: 00:00:14

story that she's gonna share with us.

7

: 00:00:15

She's au also an author.

8

: 00:00:18

She's written a lot of books about

helping women through divorce.

9

: 00:00:23

There's one that I told Heather

quick before we got on that I'm

10

: 00:00:26

really interested in, and that

one is about a guide to becoming

11

: 00:00:31

a successful entrepreneur because

this episode is really gonna

12

: 00:00:35

be all about empowering women.

13

: 00:00:39

So I'm really excited about that.

14

: 00:00:41

And if you want to, to

get more information about

15

: 00:00:44

divorce, um, Heather's got.

16

: 00:00:46

The Women Winning Divorce

Podcast, check her out there.

17

: 00:00:50

I'll have the link in the show notes.

18

: 00:00:52

But Heather, thank you for

taking the time to be here.

19

: 00:00:57

Speaker 2: Absolutely.

20

: 00:00:58

I am so excited.

21

: 00:00:59

Thank you for having me.

22

: 00:01:00

Of course.

23

: 00:01:01

I love, love being a guest.

24

: 00:01:02

I love being a guest on a podcast

25

: 00:01:03

Speaker: so much.

26

: 00:01:04

I love that.

27

: 00:01:04

I love that.

28

: 00:01:05

You love that.

29

: 00:01:06

So this is gonna be fun.

30

: 00:01:08

All right.

31

: 00:01:08

Would you mind, because you're

kind of a new connection, yes.

32

: 00:01:12

For me, yes.

33

: 00:01:12

And I've read up on you, but would

you mind sharing with the audience

34

: 00:01:16

your experience and what led you to do

the work that you're doing right now?

35

: 00:01:22

Sure.

36

: 00:01:23

Speaker 2: Yeah.

37

: 00:01:23

So, um, you know, I, uh, I

always, I mean, I could make

38

: 00:01:28

this into this really long story.

39

: 00:01:29

I'm gonna just try to hit the

highlights, but basically I really

40

: 00:01:33

always wanted to be a lawyer.

41

: 00:01:35

Uh, you know, so it took me, I had a

little, uh, detour, you know, right.

42

: 00:01:39

And initially in college, but then

I got on track, got to law school.

43

: 00:01:43

I, um.

44

: 00:01:45

I grew up with, um, my

grandfather and my uncle.

45

: 00:01:49

Big influences.

46

: 00:01:50

My grandfather was a judge, um, here,

uh, for his whole career, pretty much.

47

: 00:01:55

And my uncle was an attorney.

48

: 00:01:58

Um, and so they, you know, I had these

ideas of what a lawyer would be, which.

49

: 00:02:05

Was basically, uh, doing

trial work, criminal work.

50

: 00:02:09

Um, and so I really thought

that was going to be my path.

51

: 00:02:16

And, um, I, I went to be a prosecutor

first, which was a great experience.

52

: 00:02:22

It's just good, uh, to get in

front of a courtroom in front of a

53

: 00:02:24

judge and just be there every day.

54

: 00:02:26

It was great.

55

: 00:02:28

And then most criminal attorneys

go then to criminal defense.

56

: 00:02:32

Um, and I just really,

it was not in my nature.

57

: 00:02:36

Uh, so because I had been so used

to putting people in jail and let's,

58

: 00:02:39

you know, keep, make clear, I was

a misdemeanor prosecutor, so I,

59

: 00:02:43

these were not like huge cases, but

I was like, give them a year, you

60

: 00:02:47

know, which was the maximum Right.

61

: 00:02:49

Misdemeanor.

62

: 00:02:49

So, you know, uh, but that's usually how

young attorneys are just real gung ho.

63

: 00:02:54

But, um.

64

: 00:02:56

As I was figuring that out and

what my own practice would be, it

65

: 00:03:02

wasn't really criminal defense.

66

: 00:03:04

It was like, this isn't satisfying for me.

67

: 00:03:08

This is not something I want to do.

68

: 00:03:11

And I kept getting family law cases and.

69

: 00:03:15

They really, uh, you know,

I, I understood these folks.

70

: 00:03:20

Um, and I had done a little bit of family

law when I worked for my uncle, uh,

71

: 00:03:25

when we moved back home to Jacksonville.

72

: 00:03:28

But, um, you know, I really started to

think, gosh, I can really, I can really

73

: 00:03:32

make a difference for these individuals.

74

: 00:03:35

And I, you know, at the time, I think

that was what was important to me,

75

: 00:03:41

that I was doing something that.

76

: 00:03:43

Felt like I was really helping

them on the criminal defense side.

77

: 00:03:46

I just didn't feel aligned.

78

: 00:03:48

Mm-hmm.

79

: 00:03:48

With who I was and I didn't feel

like I could bring much value.

80

: 00:03:51

But in the family law world, I really, I

really was, I am very good with people.

81

: 00:04:00

I can connect with people, intuitive,

you know, so I can really understand.

82

: 00:04:05

Where they're coming from.

83

: 00:04:06

And then of course, not that I didn't

know this, but sometimes you know

84

: 00:04:10

you have an aha moment and you're

like, oh my gosh, that's right.

85

: 00:04:12

My parents have each been married and

divorced several times, not to each other.

86

: 00:04:17

Right?

87

: 00:04:18

So I have, I understand this really well.

88

: 00:04:23

I didn't have to go

through my own divorces.

89

: 00:04:25

I was there for theirs.

90

: 00:04:27

And so I could relate to our client,

my clients, I could relate to their

91

: 00:04:32

concerns about their children because.

92

: 00:04:34

I've been a child, you know, and

I, I really was like, ah, this

93

: 00:04:40

is what I am supposed to do.

94

: 00:04:42

I would never, I would've never

said that in, in, uh, in law school.

95

: 00:04:46

I didn't even take a family

law course in law school.

96

: 00:04:47

Speaker: Mm-hmm.

97

: 00:04:48

No, in, in fact, and I'm the same.

98

: 00:04:50

I had never expected that that would be

something that I would be working in.

99

: 00:04:54

Yeah.

100

: 00:04:55

Um, and I love how you are sharing that.

101

: 00:04:59

You wanna help people.

102

: 00:05:00

So we, we have some good attorneys out

there, folks, you know what I mean?

103

: 00:05:04

Sometimes we get a bad rap, but

there really are people who care.

104

: 00:05:07

And I love, I was gonna ask you,

it was in, in the back of my mind.

105

: 00:05:11

Have you been a child of divorce

or been through a divorce yourself?

106

: 00:05:16

Mm-hmm.

107

: 00:05:16

And I think that does give you some

perspective and you know, you can

108

: 00:05:22

really speak to how to do things

better for the sake of the children.

109

: 00:05:26

I mean, that isn't that like

the most important thing and

110

: 00:05:28

you are making a difference.

111

: 00:05:30

You are, you know, setting them

up for a better life after this.

112

: 00:05:36

Speaker 2: Right.

113

: 00:05:36

And that that is, yes, that is our

whole goal, right, is to set them up

114

: 00:05:42

and even if maybe financially it's a

little more cha, it's more challenging

115

: 00:05:47

when they're on their own, but.

116

: 00:05:51

I think, you know, that their

freedom and the ability to have

117

: 00:05:55

peace in their life mm-hmm.

118

: 00:05:57

Um, really outweighs that.

119

: 00:05:59

And I think, you know, we're, we're

fortunate in this day and age, there are a

120

: 00:06:04

lot of ways to make a living as you know.

121

: 00:06:06

I mean, yes.

122

: 00:06:07

Um, and they can get creative, but

just to have the peace and the ability

123

: 00:06:14

to do things the way they want to.

124

: 00:06:16

Um, you know, I think that's, that's.

125

: 00:06:18

A huge, um, gift and it's an amazing

if you get to live your life that way.

126

: 00:06:25

Speaker: That is, that is one of the

blessings that can happen through divorce.

127

: 00:06:28

And I know that can be really scary

to take two incomes or you know, two

128

: 00:06:34

people together and then split 'em off

and be trying to make the same amount.

129

: 00:06:38

But like you said, you have the freedom

to choose how you wanna spend it.

130

: 00:06:44

And I can't tell you the amount

of women that I've talked to that.

131

: 00:06:49

Once they finally decided to downsize, a

lot of times they're spinning wheels and

132

: 00:06:54

trying to keep the house for the kids.

133

: 00:06:56

Yes, eh, maybe that's not the best.

134

: 00:06:58

The best thing for anyone because

they want their kids to be involved

135

: 00:07:02

in their normal activities and when

they downsize, they've got freedom.

136

: 00:07:07

So, yeah, it's a double-edged sword.

137

: 00:07:09

But I told you we weren't gonna

talk too much about divorce.

138

: 00:07:13

Speaker 3: Right?

139

: 00:07:13

Right.

140

: 00:07:13

So tell

141

: 00:07:14

Speaker: me, you opened

your own law practice.

142

: 00:07:16

Mm-hmm.

143

: 00:07:17

That's courageous.

144

: 00:07:18

So you're a courageous woman

and that's what I wanna, I

145

: 00:07:21

wanna learn about you that way.

146

: 00:07:22

So what, okay.

147

: 00:07:24

What led you to do that?

148

: 00:07:25

'cause it's not easy.

149

: 00:07:26

I've done it too, and it's.

150

: 00:07:28

It's hard and it's not, uh,

it's not always beautiful.

151

: 00:07:33

It's not always, um, fiscally great.

152

: 00:07:36

You know, it's a struggle

sometimes, so, yes.

153

: 00:07:38

So tell me about what led you to do

it on your own and to focus on women.

154

: 00:07:44

Speaker 2: Well, um, so the

whole thing was an evolution,

155

: 00:07:46

but I will tell you, and, um, you

know, sometimes right when you.

156

: 00:07:53

When you don't know how many options

you have, or you don't think you

157

: 00:07:56

have a lot, like it can allow you to

make a bolder decision, and maybe you

158

: 00:08:00

would have if you'd had other options.

159

: 00:08:03

And so it was 2009.

160

: 00:08:07

Um oh actually.

161

: 00:08:08

Oh.

162

: 00:08:09

2010 is when we opened it.

163

: 00:08:11

When I opened it.

164

: 00:08:12

So 2009.

165

: 00:08:13

Um, you know, in that period of

time, uh, the economy was not doing

166

: 00:08:18

great and that was really when the

housing bubble was really opening up.

167

: 00:08:24

So.

168

: 00:08:26

I had not been, uh, working full-time.

169

: 00:08:29

Had just had our third child, uh, in

: 2009

170

: 00:08:36

Uh, he still is a builder.

171

: 00:08:37

He is a contractor.

172

: 00:08:37

But, um, he, uh, and he

had some spec houses 'cause

173

: 00:08:41

everything was booming and all.

174

: 00:08:43

And, um.

175

: 00:08:45

Then it was not great, right?

176

: 00:08:47

It was not great at all.

177

: 00:08:48

And we found ourselves in a position that

was, um, you know, not ideal, not the

178

: 00:08:54

booming, uh, you know, housing market.

179

: 00:08:58

And I needed to make some decisions.

180

: 00:09:01

He also just due with the stress of

all that, had a heart attack at 42.

181

: 00:09:05

Oh my gosh.

182

: 00:09:06

Um, and so, and very healthy

guy, like, you know, you would

183

: 00:09:09

never looking at him, um.

184

: 00:09:11

It was, you know, genetics,

but stress led to Wow.

185

: 00:09:14

A lot of that.

186

: 00:09:15

Of course.

187

: 00:09:16

So anyway, it was time for me to put that

very expensive education, uh, to use.

188

: 00:09:21

Again, he encouraged me very

much so to, uh, go out on my own.

189

: 00:09:28

But I will tell you, uh, there was

nobody hiring lawyers at the time either.

190

: 00:09:32

Mm-hmm.

191

: 00:09:32

So let's be clear if that

had maybe been an option

192

: 00:09:35

Speaker: right.

193

: 00:09:36

Speaker 2: And I'm so glad it wasn't

I, I may have gone another path.

194

: 00:09:40

Um, and so.

195

: 00:09:43

Went ahead and, you know,

the, uh, what everybody says.

196

: 00:09:46

Oh, and you have so

much flexibility, right?

197

: 00:09:48

And I say yes to work seven

days a week, midnight, early

198

: 00:09:51

mornings, all of that time.

199

: 00:09:53

Yes.

200

: 00:09:54

Um, but that, so that's what I

did, you know, and opened the

201

: 00:09:58

firm and then I, I did invest.

202

: 00:10:01

Uh, in, you know, training,

learning how to run a business.

203

: 00:10:06

'cause that is not anything

you learn in law school.

204

: 00:10:08

So smart.

205

: 00:10:10

Speaker: Yes.

206

: 00:10:11

Speaker 2: So I, I, I made that

investment and, and at that moment I

207

: 00:10:15

really began my education on running

a business and, um, you know, all the

208

: 00:10:20

things that were necessary, how to

market, sell, and you know, how to hire.

209

: 00:10:25

So all of those things, you

know, which is always an ongoing

210

: 00:10:28

evolution, uh, education.

211

: 00:10:31

And through that, so we started

in, originally I was like,

212

: 00:10:35

oh, I'll do criminal defense.

213

: 00:10:36

No.

214

: 00:10:37

Yeah, that didn't, that didn't go long.

215

: 00:10:38

And then it was like, no, we're doing

family law because I couldn't do both.

216

: 00:10:42

And I'll tell you why, because I'm

obviously, you know, gonna deliver

217

: 00:10:47

the best that I can for my clients.

218

: 00:10:49

The, the law, there's

always new decisions, right?

219

: 00:10:53

We're always keeping up.

220

: 00:10:54

And so I was just getting like

all of these weekly things on

221

: 00:10:57

all criminal law and family law

and I was like, I can't do both.

222

: 00:11:01

Mm-hmm.

223

: 00:11:01

Uh, and so then it was really, well,

I'm gonna focus on family law because

224

: 00:11:04

that seems to be a better fit for me.

225

: 00:11:09

And through that process and growing,

and again, just learning more about

226

: 00:11:14

myself and as I was practicing and it

was a few years in and I, I was taking,

227

: 00:11:21

um, men, men and women clients, um.

228

: 00:11:24

Just like everybody else does, right?

229

: 00:11:26

And um, and but then through my business

training and learning, it was like, well,

230

: 00:11:32

what clients do I really like the best?

231

: 00:11:35

Um, and why?

232

: 00:11:37

And really what it was is, uh, women

clients who really just don't think.

233

: 00:11:42

They have much value and um, you

know, because then what I then,

234

: 00:11:46

you know, through that, you know,

self-reflection and understanding, I was

235

: 00:11:50

like, man, my mom did the same thing.

236

: 00:11:51

Mm-hmm.

237

: 00:11:52

Just wanna get away, get out,

and not sticking up for what you

238

: 00:11:55

deserve and not maybe really.

239

: 00:11:57

Trusting yourself, listening to this

guy, um, this narcissist who's, you know,

240

: 00:12:03

gaslighting you about all this stuff.

241

: 00:12:05

And, um, so I, I re recognize that.

242

: 00:12:09

I'm like, all these women are going

through these same patterns, but

243

: 00:12:11

if we can step in and be their

strength and give them, you know,

244

: 00:12:15

good legal advice, say you can do,

like, we're almost at the end, right?

245

: 00:12:18

Everybody wants to quit right?

246

: 00:12:19

When it's almost over.

247

: 00:12:20

Yeah.

248

: 00:12:20

So don't, like, we're almost

there and, you know, give

249

: 00:12:24

them that strength they need.

250

: 00:12:26

To finish.

251

: 00:12:28

I was like, I think I'd be really good

at that and that is what I wanna do.

252

: 00:12:32

And it, that was a big, bold move for me

as well, because you make up all these

253

: 00:12:37

things in your head, what are gonna,

people gonna think that it's just a ploy.

254

: 00:12:40

Women only, 'cause we do have like men

only divorce and that is relatively

255

: 00:12:45

common throughout the country, you know?

256

: 00:12:47

Mm-hmm.

257

: 00:12:48

People have heard of that.

258

: 00:12:49

But you know, this is

the interesting thing.

259

: 00:12:51

'cause we say women only,

we're the only firm.

260

: 00:12:56

Uh, I think in the US that does that.

261

: 00:12:57

Now, they may say, well, we,

we mostly represent women.

262

: 00:13:00

I was like, I know, but

do you turn away men?

263

: 00:13:02

Right?

264

: 00:13:02

But do you say No, that's a

conflict of interest for us

265

: 00:13:05

and we don't represent you.

266

: 00:13:07

Um, and I don't think they do.

267

: 00:13:09

Uh, so it's just really.

268

: 00:13:11

That was a big move,

but then so rewarding.

269

: 00:13:15

Um, and you know, along with all the

challenges of a business, but been

270

: 00:13:20

great and um, you know, we've just

been growing ever, ever since then.

271

: 00:13:26

Speaker: I love that.

272

: 00:13:26

And I love how you were saying, you know,

just to take a step back that the women

273

: 00:13:33

that come in don't feel they have value.

274

: 00:13:37

And then I was gonna ask you, how

do you help them have that value?

275

: 00:13:40

And it sounds like borrowed strength,

that's like your big, because

276

: 00:13:44

you don't have a lot of time to

like work with them and get them.

277

: 00:13:48

But that, I mean, isn't that the truth?

278

: 00:13:51

Women need to feel worthy and valued

and so if they can borrow that from you.

279

: 00:13:56

Yes, hopefully they can then, as

they go through something hard, start

280

: 00:14:01

to believe in it for themselves.

281

: 00:14:02

So I love that you're doing that,

and this is kind of bringing me into.

282

: 00:14:08

I wanna hear about your book,

women's Guide to Becoming a

283

: 00:14:12

Successful Entrepreneur because

I do love what you're saying.

284

: 00:14:15

In law school, they do not

teach you how to run a business.

285

: 00:14:19

Yeah.

286

: 00:14:19

And you, and it is like, you know,

you have to, that's one of the most

287

: 00:14:23

important things when you're starting

out to get that all figured out.

288

: 00:14:26

Yeah.

289

: 00:14:27

So tell me how this book was born.

290

: 00:14:29

You've written a lot of books.

291

: 00:14:30

You're, you're busy, you're a mom,

you volunteer for a football team.

292

: 00:14:35

I was reading something about that.

293

: 00:14:36

Are you still doing that?

294

: 00:14:37

Speaker 2: No, my son just quit

football, but just in the spring.

295

: 00:14:41

So I had some obligations to finish

up over the summer, but then I was

296

: 00:14:45

like, no, I'm not gonna be on the

board guys 'cause he's not playing.

297

: 00:14:48

So, all right.

298

: 00:14:49

Can get someone else.

299

: 00:14:50

But I did do that for many, many years.

300

: 00:14:52

Um.

301

: 00:14:53

So he's my last one at home.

302

: 00:14:55

My daughters are in college and

med school, and then he's, um, he's

303

: 00:14:59

still in high school, so No, he's,

he's just a, a golfer now, so.

304

: 00:15:03

Oh, I

305

: 00:15:03

Speaker: love that.

306

: 00:15:04

I love golf.

307

: 00:15:04

I gotta tell you, I have a daughter

who just finished her residency.

308

: 00:15:08

Oh my goodness.

309

: 00:15:09

Wow.

310

: 00:15:11

So, and those, those gals

have to be strong women.

311

: 00:15:15

And in fact, my, um, daughter.

312

: 00:15:18

Got married and then had a

baby during her rotations.

313

: 00:15:22

I mean, she's so happy.

314

: 00:15:25

She just started, I know she just started.

315

: 00:15:28

Um, she's a pediatrician in a little

suburb here in Minnesota called Edina.

316

: 00:15:33

So she works there and I think she's

enjoying the respite, but I don't

317

: 00:15:39

know where your girls are in it.

318

: 00:15:40

It is.

319

: 00:15:42

Quite the journey.

320

: 00:15:43

Mm-hmm.

321

: 00:15:44

And, um, I mean, I thank my physicians,

like I thank service people because

322

: 00:15:50

you go to war, it's like, it's a lot.

323

: 00:15:53

Yes.

324

: 00:15:53

Yes.

325

: 00:15:53

Well, she's,

326

: 00:15:54

Speaker 2: we're one month in,

327

: 00:15:55

Speaker: so

328

: 00:15:56

Speaker 2: we have our white.

329

: 00:15:57

I know.

330

: 00:15:57

So we're in the very, very beginning,

but so thankful because she got

331

: 00:16:01

in on her first time applying.

332

: 00:16:04

Um, so yeah, we have her

white coat ceremony next week.

333

: 00:16:08

So we're very excited.

334

: 00:16:09

So that's so

335

: 00:16:10

Speaker: fun.

336

: 00:16:11

That's so fun.

337

: 00:16:11

Yeah.

338

: 00:16:11

It's,

339

: 00:16:12

Speaker 2: we're at the beginning of that

journey for her, so that's my oldest.

340

: 00:16:14

Yeah.

341

: 00:16:15

Speaker: So you're, so you're helping

women find value through divorce.

342

: 00:16:19

You're raising strong daughters and

you're raising a son that's going

343

: 00:16:24

to see strong women, and that's

just, I love all of that about you.

344

: 00:16:28

Okay, so now let's get to that.

345

: 00:16:30

Okay.

346

: 00:16:30

About what led you, so you wrote a lot

of books about, which is no small feat.

347

: 00:16:34

I just started, I've started

writing a book in the spring,

348

: 00:16:37

hoping to be done in the spring,

and I'm like, this is hard work.

349

: 00:16:41

It's a lot of work.

350

: 00:16:41

This is hard work in

addition to your other work.

351

: 00:16:44

So I applaud you for that.

352

: 00:16:46

But tell me what got

you to write that book.

353

: 00:16:49

About being an entrepreneur.

354

: 00:16:51

Speaker 2: So, at the time, and

you know, as, as you know, as you

355

: 00:16:57

know, entrepreneurs, we can be.

356

: 00:16:58

So, um, I gotta, I have

ideas all the time.

357

: 00:17:00

Okay.

358

: 00:17:01

Right.

359

: 00:17:01

I'm like, that's the easy part.

360

: 00:17:03

Um, they're, they're

just always overflowing.

361

: 00:17:04

It is the execution and completion

that, you know, are the hard work.

362

: 00:17:08

But at the time, I, I was thinking that.

363

: 00:17:14

You know, 'cause I was in the, still

in the beginning, you know, just a

364

: 00:17:17

few years in of building the business

and I, it was giving me such, um,

365

: 00:17:23

empowerment and strength and, um.

366

: 00:17:27

Just have freedom.

367

: 00:17:27

'cause I was learning and I was

being able to do it the way I wanted.

368

: 00:17:32

Mm-hmm.

369

: 00:17:32

And you know, versus I'd worked for

people, you know, ever since I started

370

: 00:17:36

working at 16, you know, you always

work for people and then you have

371

: 00:17:39

to do what they, the way they want.

372

: 00:17:41

Right.

373

: 00:17:41

And um, and so I just thought if I could

maybe share some of those ideas because.

374

: 00:17:49

To me it was like, well, it's very

possible for many of the women,

375

: 00:17:53

you know, after divorce, they could

go into business for themselves.

376

: 00:17:57

They could go do something for themselves.

377

: 00:18:00

So that was my thought at the time.

378

: 00:18:04

I was also had, you know, had ideas

like, oh, I'll do events for women.

379

: 00:18:10

And, and we did some of, I did

it for a few years and I thought,

380

: 00:18:14

well, that would be a good, a

good thing to be able to provide.

381

: 00:18:17

Um, I never really carried it beyond,

you know, my events and things

382

: 00:18:24

like that because it's like, okay,

well the primary business is, uh,

383

: 00:18:29

a law firm and providing divorce.

384

: 00:18:31

So I kind of just pivoted.

385

: 00:18:32

'cause at the time, you know, I wanna

do like five different businesses,

386

: 00:18:35

five different things for everybody.

387

: 00:18:36

And, um.

388

: 00:18:38

But I, that was the goal with that book.

389

: 00:18:40

Like, just for somebody to read it

and think, oh, you know, and it's

390

: 00:18:43

not a, a difficult read, right?

391

: 00:18:46

It's not like learning how to read a

spreadsheet or a balance sheet, you know,

392

: 00:18:49

it's more about who are you and, and

how to apply that to what you wanna do.

393

: 00:18:55

Right.

394

: 00:18:55

And like I had said earlier with.

395

: 00:18:57

What were the clients that I

liked and what an amazing concept.

396

: 00:19:02

Build a business around something that you

want to do, that you, makes you happy and

397

: 00:19:08

then you know, you can be very successful.

398

: 00:19:11

So that was really where that came

from and why I wrote that book.

399

: 00:19:16

Speaker: Okay.

400

: 00:19:16

So was the book, um, and I,

I'm gonna grab it and read it,

401

: 00:19:20

but was it focusing a lot on.

402

: 00:19:23

Helping women figure

out what business to do.

403

: 00:19:27

Speaker 2: Yes.

404

: 00:19:28

Speaker: Right.

405

: 00:19:28

So, and like

406

: 00:19:30

Speaker 2: and more about following

yourself, like understanding who

407

: 00:19:33

you are, what gifts you have, how

can you make money off of that.

408

: 00:19:38

Right, right.

409

: 00:19:39

And, and, and also find joy and fulfill.

410

: 00:19:42

I love it.

411

: 00:19:43

It's been a long time since I

wrote it, so I, I should go page.

412

: 00:19:46

Okay.

413

: 00:19:46

So I'm

414

: 00:19:46

Speaker: kind of throwing you off.

415

: 00:19:47

I didn't tell you I was

gonna talk about this.

416

: 00:19:49

That's okay.

417

: 00:19:50

I just, I do think for my listeners and

for myself in this journey we call life.

418

: 00:19:56

I mean, that has, that was one

thing that probably hit me over the

419

: 00:19:59

head and maybe in my late forties

where I was like, what do I like?

420

: 00:20:04

Yeah.

421

: 00:20:05

What do I like to do?

422

: 00:20:06

Right.

423

: 00:20:07

I don't know if that hit you, but I

just, just for those listeners who

424

: 00:20:10

are curious, what's a way, if you can

remember, any ideas, um, from that book

425

: 00:20:16

or just from your work, what is a way

that you help people know what they like?

426

: 00:20:21

Because you know how there are some

women that are so low they don't even

427

: 00:20:26

really know what they like anymore?

428

: 00:20:29

Speaker 2: Yeah.

429

: 00:20:30

I, um.

430

: 00:20:32

I, I think that's such a good question.

431

: 00:20:34

I think, well, first, I guess maybe

starting with what are your gifts?

432

: 00:20:40

Like what are you, yes.

433

: 00:20:40

What are you good at?

434

: 00:20:42

And, and you may not like it, but you

may know and just at least start there

435

: 00:20:46

because, and especially when, yeah.

436

: 00:20:49

You life's thrown at you, you know?

437

: 00:20:51

Um.

438

: 00:20:52

Marriage kids.

439

: 00:20:54

Yeah.

440

: 00:20:54

You know, working for other people,

you know, being a daughter, you know,

441

: 00:20:57

you've got, like, I've been doing so

much stuff and so you're not real sure.

442

: 00:21:01

So maybe start what you

know you're good at.

443

: 00:21:03

Um, and maybe things that you think

you're not good at because that,

444

: 00:21:06

that could still be just because

maybe you haven't been given.

445

: 00:21:11

An opportunity to pour into something

that you like more, you know, and

446

: 00:21:15

you don't realize you like that.

447

: 00:21:16

Um, like I didn't know I was gonna

like family law, like I didn't

448

: 00:21:20

know, I didn't know I was gonna

love running a business, right?

449

: 00:21:23

I thought I was just gonna be

this great, great lawyer, but I'm

450

: 00:21:26

like, well, it it, I can do both.

451

: 00:21:29

And, and then I can also then like.

452

: 00:21:31

Um, hire lawyers, help them become great.

453

: 00:21:35

Mentor them.

454

: 00:21:36

Coach them, you know, and stuff like that.

455

: 00:21:39

So I, and I think being open to

where your path leads you, um, you

456

: 00:21:45

know, I was blessed with, with an,

I mean, I went to school, so that,

457

: 00:21:48

that gives me, okay, I got a lot

degree, a lot you can do with it.

458

: 00:21:52

But, so I, you know, had

that as a starting point.

459

: 00:21:55

But, um, there are a lot of things

and you know, even before, well my

460

: 00:22:00

undergraduate degree is nursing.

461

: 00:22:02

I was a nurse.

462

: 00:22:04

Yeah.

463

: 00:22:04

I worked in the ER and the

trauma unit and um, really.

464

: 00:22:08

And then it's like, but I was like, well,

but I think I wanna be a criminal lawyer.

465

: 00:22:11

Which doesn't make sense, but I was like,

well I'm, you know, that's kind of where I

466

: 00:22:15

had grown up, grown up, like seeing that.

467

: 00:22:18

But um, you know, I was not, uh,

I didn't love personal injury.

468

: 00:22:24

Speaker: Yeah.

469

: 00:22:25

Speaker 2: Um, I did do some medical

malpractice defense for a bit, and,

470

: 00:22:30

um, I like that, but like, also don't

be afraid, like, just because I, I can

471

: 00:22:34

read medical records and I understand

all that, and I have a law degree.

472

: 00:22:38

Doesn't mean I have to go into that.

473

: 00:22:40

Right.

474

: 00:22:40

I was in a, I totally went in, you know,

just family law, uh, which, you know,

475

: 00:22:47

all of those experiences that I had had.

476

: 00:22:50

As a nurse are, you know,

gave me real life experience.

477

: 00:22:54

I talk to people all the time.

478

: 00:22:56

I met people from just all walks of life.

479

: 00:23:00

Mm-hmm.

480

: 00:23:00

In horrible situations and like all

of that, which is really allowed

481

: 00:23:04

me to have a good sense of people.

482

: 00:23:07

Yeah.

483

: 00:23:07

So it really actually makes sense

that I'm in family law because I get,

484

: 00:23:11

I understand people, I understand

all these complex emotions and.

485

: 00:23:17

The, the different things that

you're going through with a divorce.

486

: 00:23:20

So it actually did prepare me, but you

know, as part of one of those things,

487

: 00:23:25

just because you think this is what

you have to do because this is what

488

: 00:23:30

you've always done, or this was maybe

what you studied and your degree.

489

: 00:23:34

It don't, don't let yourself

be pigeonholed like that.

490

: 00:23:38

Like you gotta, and maybe you

have to try a few things too.

491

: 00:23:41

Speaker 3: Mm-hmm.

492

: 00:23:42

Right.

493

: 00:23:42

Maybe you have

494

: 00:23:42

Speaker 2: to try, oh, let me try this.

495

: 00:23:44

'cause this, I, I like the

criminal, basically, I like the

496

: 00:23:46

criminal lawyers a lot better.

497

: 00:23:48

They're, they're much easier,

nicer people to deal with.

498

: 00:23:50

Yeah.

499

: 00:23:50

Than the majority of family,

all lawyers, I will say.

500

: 00:23:52

That's so

501

: 00:23:53

Speaker: interesting.

502

: 00:23:53

Speaker 2: Um, at least in the time

my younger self, that's what I felt.

503

: 00:23:56

Um, but.

504

: 00:23:57

Um, yeah.

505

: 00:23:58

So, but I, I wasn't afraid to try

that, and then I wasn't afraid to

506

: 00:24:01

say, no, I'm not gonna do that.

507

: 00:24:03

Right.

508

: 00:24:03

And then I, I did the family

law of both men and women.

509

: 00:24:06

I was like, okay, I'm just gonna

try this with women only and really,

510

: 00:24:13

you know, go with it and, and, and

have a good understanding and reason

511

: 00:24:16

why I had a really good reason why.

512

: 00:24:19

And, um, I think that's, that's a

big part of it too, kind of knowing.

513

: 00:24:23

Why you're doing what you're doing.

514

: 00:24:26

Speaker: That's the, and that is such a

deep question that you know, and sometimes

515

: 00:24:30

it changes and I love the things that

you're saying and how you answer this.

516

: 00:24:34

And I know I threw you off,

but I love the idea that I want

517

: 00:24:38

women to know it's okay to pivot.

518

: 00:24:40

It's not a failure.

519

: 00:24:42

It's not a failure, it's

learning, it's pivoting.

520

: 00:24:44

And I, when I think of my career,

'cause I started out doing estates

521

: 00:24:51

and elder law because I thought I had

like a, I had gotten my master's in

522

: 00:24:56

Health and Human Services and I was

gonna help those elderly people and

523

: 00:25:01

I did love him and I hated the work.

524

: 00:25:04

And I kind of, I kind of

did it because I thought.

525

: 00:25:07

Well, it'll allow me

to be home with my kid.

526

: 00:25:10

You know what I mean?

527

: 00:25:11

I felt like it would be less

stressful with the kids.

528

: 00:25:13

'cause I went to law school with an

infant and like a one and a half year

529

: 00:25:17

old, so I know it was kind of, yeah.

530

: 00:25:20

So then my daughter, my daughter

followed me and went even harder, right?

531

: 00:25:23

Yep.

532

: 00:25:24

Speaker 2: Right.

533

: 00:25:25

Speaker: But, um, so I did

that work and I never, it was

534

: 00:25:27

never something that I loved.

535

: 00:25:30

And it took a moment in my life

where I went through something

536

: 00:25:33

kind of hard and I was like.

537

: 00:25:36

I, I don't like this.

538

: 00:25:38

And then that is what I think.

539

: 00:25:39

I read a book by John Maxwell.

540

: 00:25:41

I wish I could remember the

name, but it was really about

541

: 00:25:44

like, what are your gifts?

542

: 00:25:46

What are you good at?

543

: 00:25:48

And as I went through and did that,

I kept being like communication

544

: 00:25:52

and helping people work together.

545

: 00:25:54

And I went.

546

: 00:25:55

Mediation.

547

: 00:25:56

I remembered hearing about it in law

school and I was like, I'm in, I'm

548

: 00:26:02

devoted to mediation and I'm telling you,

Heather, I thought I was gonna, and I

549

: 00:26:06

have mediated like elder law patients,

but I thought I was gonna be mediating

550

: 00:26:11

city issues and school issues and.

551

: 00:26:16

And all that kept coming

to me were divorces.

552

: 00:26:19

Yeah.

553

: 00:26:20

And then I was like, well, I've never

been through a divorce uhhuh and I

554

: 00:26:23

don't, I wasn't a child of divorce.

555

: 00:26:25

I just really haven't seen a lot of it.

556

: 00:26:27

But I am a, a mama that cares so

deeply, and I think then those kids.

557

: 00:26:34

That started to be a big part and

I did like a parenting playing

558

: 00:26:38

course and yeah, so it's so cool

how what you just said is so true.

559

: 00:26:43

Yeah.

560

: 00:26:43

What are you good at?

561

: 00:26:45

And if it was something that I was good

at that I hated, I'd probably pivot.

562

: 00:26:50

Speaker 2: Right, right,

right, right, right.

563

: 00:26:51

Yeah.

564

: 00:26:52

But most of the time there is something

within that list of what you're good

565

: 00:26:56

at, that you're like, oh, I'm good.

566

: 00:26:57

'cause I really like it.

567

: 00:26:58

So I keep working at it

and I, I keep doing it.

568

: 00:27:01

Um, and I do think that because when you

realize that you can do something right

569

: 00:27:09

for your career, for your fulfillment,

for your financial security that you like.

570

: 00:27:16

Like so many people I think

are stuck in like that.

571

: 00:27:18

That's not possible, but it, it is.

572

: 00:27:20

And that's like just such

a freedom to be able to do

573

: 00:27:24

Speaker: that.

574

: 00:27:25

Right.

575

: 00:27:26

And you do.

576

: 00:27:26

And I think too, that's another

thing that I've learned in my life is

577

: 00:27:29

that the joy and like the just fun.

578

: 00:27:34

Is probably, you know, I try to white

knuckle it through all these health

579

: 00:27:38

hacks and do everything to stay healthy.

580

: 00:27:40

And it's like probably the

most important thing is to

581

: 00:27:43

have fun and have joy and hope.

582

: 00:27:46

And I miss that.

583

: 00:27:47

I miss that along the way.

584

: 00:27:48

And so if you can keep that in your

mind and you know, be willing to

585

: 00:27:53

pivot, I think that is gonna help you.

586

: 00:27:55

And I think that's what this.

587

: 00:27:57

Podcast is about helping

women through hard times.

588

: 00:28:01

That's what you're doing.

589

: 00:28:02

I mean, that's like, I had a, a breast,

a stage one breast cancer scare,

590

: 00:28:06

um, which was hard and a lot, and

that changed my life for the better.

591

: 00:28:13

So, um, you know, if we can pivot,

if we can find the joy and learn from

592

: 00:28:18

other people, I think we are just.

593

: 00:28:22

Gonna be moving in the right direction.

594

: 00:28:24

So Heather, I just have to thank you.

595

: 00:28:26

I can't believe this went so fast.

596

: 00:28:29

It's like I looked at the clock and

I went, Ooh, I have to wrap this up.

597

: 00:28:33

But listeners, um, find all

of Heather's information.

598

: 00:28:37

I am going to have, um, all of your

books so people can look at 'em.

599

: 00:28:41

And if you're in Florida.

600

: 00:28:43

Yep.

601

: 00:28:43

And you need an attorney, please

contact Heather and her firm.

602

: 00:28:47

And, um, Heather, I just wanna

thank you for taking the time

603

: 00:28:51

to be here and share your story.

604

: 00:28:53

Speaker 2: Oh, thank you so much for,

for asking me and wanting me to share.

605

: 00:28:56

And, uh, it was a pleasure to meet you

and hopefully it was helpful and inspires,

606

: 00:29:01

uh, some of your listeners today.

607

: 00:29:02

I

608

: 00:29:03

Speaker: think it will.

609

: 00:29:03

Thank you so much.

610

: 00:29:05

Yes, take care.

611

: 00:29:06

Speaker 2: Okay.