Saddle Up: 3 Signs You're Ready for a Peaceful Divorce
In this week's Saddle Up segment, Lesa shares insights from a recent podcast with Kimberly Miller of Part Wise, focusing on amicable divorces. Key points discussed include signs that indicate readiness for an amicable divorce, the importance of focusing on the future, open communication, and seeking clarity. Lesa emphasizes the benefits of mediation and collaborative law, advising listeners to work together for the well-being of their children and a smoother transition. The episode underscores that the process, though challenging, can lead to positive outcomes when managed thoughtfully and collaboratively.
00:00 Introduction to Saddle Up Segment
00:27 Recap of Podcast with Kimberly Miller
02:23 Signs You're Ready for Amicable Divorce
02:52 Importance of Communication and Mediation
03:36 Focusing on the Future and Clarity
04:26 Advice for Parents Going Through Divorce
05:21 Conclusion and Final Thoughts
Transcript
Welcome listeners to this week's Saddle Up segment.
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:I am thrilled to have these back.
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:I haven't done a saddle up segment for
a long time, and these are generally
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:little recaps from Tuesday's episode
and then sometimes they throw in
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:a little extra stuff that's more
saddle, upy and saddle up to life.
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:Um, but I wanted to let you
know that I had a great podcast.
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:With Kimberly Miller who has, um, a
company called Part Wise, go back and
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:listen if you wanna learn more about it.
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:But you know, she kind of, and we were
talking about how you can choose to
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:divorce amicably a lot of the times, and
I'm not saying every time, and I've done.
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:You know, longer podcasts on when you
know if you can do a mediation or not.
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:But I just wanted to kind of go
through maybe three quick signs.
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:'cause you know, these are real short
little segments about when you know,
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:um, that you're ready to do it amicably.
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:And if you can, and before I
jump to those, I just wanna
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:say we know that a mediation.
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:Probably isn't gonna work
unless you're represented by
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:attorneys going to the mediation.
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:If there's any kind of, um, abuse or
you're feeling like you can't, you don't
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:have a say or you're afraid to speak
and you need someone to support you.
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:And, um, it's often voluntary now.
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:Minnesota and certain states, you
do need to go through a mediation
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:session prior to going to court.
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:Um.
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:So that is something to think of.
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:But if you are looking at going through
a divorce, I highly recommend doing
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:it together, working together on it.
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:And I think the best way, I might
be biased, but I think the best way
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:to do it is through a mediation.
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:There's also a collaborative.
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:Law route that you can take.
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:And I want you to know you can always,
um, go online to lisa kiski.com
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:and schedule a consult with me and I will
help you understand the options for you
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:and help you kind of plan out how you're
going to work through your divorce.
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:But here are the three
signs that you're ready.
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:And the first one is just that you're
more focused on the future than ever.
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:So you, and this is what I love about
like coaching, is let's move forward.
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:You know, we can, and sometimes
it's hard to jump out of that.
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:Your twisting and turning in the
hurt and the confusion in the past.
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:You're kind of starting to
feel like I'm ready to move.
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:Forward.
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:You need to be open to communicate
even if it's hard and it is hard.
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:Um, I had a really tough one today
and they did a really good job.
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:A really good mediator is going
to help you have the tools to work
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:through hard, hard emotions, how
hard feelings, and there's a lot of
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:different ways you can, can do that.
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:I like to try to keep.
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:People using their, um, their muscle
in their brain, and it's hard to use
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:that when you get really emotional.
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:So there's tools that I use with
people to keep them in that place.
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:But if you are ready to do the hard
work, because none of it's easy.
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:Divorce isn't easy, but I feel
like this is a better route, so.
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:First thing, you're focused
more on the future than revenge.
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:The second thing is you're
open to communicate.
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:And the third thing is you're
craving like clarity, not chaos.
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:You want to be the ones who
are making the decision about
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:how you are going to separate.
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:You don't want the court or a judge,
or you don't want it to be a surprise.
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:You wanna come together.
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:Um, you know, a lot of times no one feels
like a winner, but when you work together.
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:As I always say, how you end one
thing is how you start another.
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:So if you can end it, well
make some compromises.
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:It's just gonna catapult
you into a better future.
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:And then I just, so those are the three
things, those, that's when you kind of
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:know, okay, I'm ready, I'm ready to,
to work through this mediation process.
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:If you have kids.
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:It's imperative whether you have a
mediator or not, that you learn how to
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:work together to not put down the other
parent in front of the children because
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:you can help them thrive through this.
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:You can build resilience.
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:Your kids didn't ask for this,
so do everything you can to
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:make this better for them and.
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:What I've found through all the
research is it's really very simple
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:when kids know that both parents
care for them and love them.
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:That's the most important
thing that helps them thrive.
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:So, um, just keep that in mind.
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:Keep working together
because you can do it.
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:I have helped really messy situations
to really hard things and there
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:is something that feels so good
when you do it a better way.
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:Thanks so much for being here.
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:Take good care.
