Saddle Up Segment: When Self-Work Saves the Relationship

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Welcome to this week's Saddle up segment on Tuesday on

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doing divorce different, I had

the pleasure of chatting with Dr.

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Becky Wetstone and she

is been through it all.

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She's been here before and I

just, I like talking to her so

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much and getting her insight.

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Um, I think she's gonna

kind of be a regular.

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On the Doing Divorce, different podcast.

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She, when I say she's been through

it all, she's been through divorce.

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She had kids, she's been remarried and

she is a marriage and family therapist and

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she always has lots of good information.

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And this week on doing

divorce different I.

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Kind of threw at her something to talk

about right before we met, which is fine.

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I like to be authentic.

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I was telling her that I had been to

a shower in Montana over the weekend

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and that a lot of the young girls

were really interested in, okay, what

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can we do to have strong marriages?

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And so I was thinking.

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What can we talk about?

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What can we discuss to help you

have a strong marriage, whether

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you're young and just getting

married or even after divorce?

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What are the things that

are important to do?

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And interestingly enough, it very simply,

I mean, if you just listen to this,

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you're gonna get the biggest nugget of

all, and that is to work on yourself.

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And in that episode, we give some

ways you can work on yourself.

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One thing that she said was really

important that I agree with is really

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getting down to your traumas and your,

your core wounds, and she mentioned

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someone named PM Melody, who, um, wrote

a book called Facing Codependence.

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So I'm gonna read it

and I'm gonna have Dr.

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Becky back on.

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So stay tuned for that because we're

gonna talk about how to figure out, so

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even if you don't read the book, how you

can figure out what those core wounds and

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what's affecting you in your marriage.

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'cause the bottom line is we

darlings need to be healthy in

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order to have a healthy marriage.

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And then, you know, Dr.

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Becky was really kind of grounded in

the fact that there's no surefire way.

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To, you know, keep a marriage going

strong or to pick the right mate.

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However, if we can be strong in

ourselves, it can improve our marriage.

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And if things go south, it helps us

so that we can handle it if it does.

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So, good information to have.

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Uh, there was one thing we were

kind of laughing about because I had

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said, um, and I always write this

in little wedding cards because I

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heard this in my marriage class.

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35 years ago, um, before I married

my husband, I heard couples that

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pray together every day only

have a 2% divorce rate, and Dr.

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Becky kind of was like, huh,

I'd like to see that study.

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So I told her that I would

look it up, and so I did.

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And um, I found the information.

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This is what I found.

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While shared religious practices including

praying together are associated with

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higher marital satisfaction, there is no

conclusive academic evidence to support

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the claim that daily prayer together

reduces the divorce rate to 2% or less.

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Couples interested in strengthening

their marriage may find value in shared

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spiritual activities, but it's important

to approach such statistics with a

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critical eye and consider the broader

context of relationship dynamics.

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Okay, so maybe she was kind of right, but

I still feel like there's hope in that.

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Uh, so I'm not sure how I'm

gonna phrase it in my cards.

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I still recommend it.

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I still think it's helpful.

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I think it's one of the things that I've

done, and that's all I can share with you.

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I'm an expert in the field

of marriage because I've been

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married for 34 years, so, um, I.

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Becky was kind of, Dr.

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Becky was kind of right about that, but

I think there still is hope in that.

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And another thing that I forgot to mention

that we're gonna be discussing with Dr.

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Be Becky, um, a few months out is

she did write an amazing book called.

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I think I want out.

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What do I do when one of you

wants to end your marriage?

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What to do when one of you

wants to end your marriage?

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So I just bought it.

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I'm gonna be, you can find it on Amazon.

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There's a link in the show notes.

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So go find it 'cause Dr.

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Becky's got, uh, great information too,

and we're gonna talk about that as well.

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So what do you do when

the marriage is ending?

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Thank you so much for being here.

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If you wanna hear more, Dr.

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Becky's fun to listen to.

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Go back to Tuesday's episode.

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Take good care.