Saddle Up Segment: Why Self-Sacrifice Isn’t Love: A Real Talk on Boundaries

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Welcome to this week's Saddle up segment where I go over

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key takeaways from Tuesday's episode.

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And if you haven't listened to Tuesday's

episode, please go back and give it

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a listen because it was kind of a

special day for me where I actually,

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for the first time doing my podcast,

I've been stood up in real life, but

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I've never been stood up on my podcast

and I was, and I took a hot minute.

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To sit with myself quietly, and

I thought through the things that

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I had written down that I wanted

to speak to this guest about.

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Were all things that I could speak on,

and so it was, it was a fun episode

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and I took my own experiences through

my 34 year marriage through my dealing

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with the stage one breast cancer that

I had to go through a lot of treatment

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that that was a hard thing for me and

the things that I recently learned

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along the way, things that I wish.

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I would've known years ago, it

would've made my life so much.

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Well, it would've made me

suffer a little bit less.

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So I just wanna share that with you

because I know boundaries is a big word

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and I talk about it in that episode.

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And here is the thing I.

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They are simple in how we think

through them, but they're hard to do.

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It's really hard for me to set boundaries

with things like spending money on a kid.

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I want to like give them the

world, and it's really hard

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for me to draw a line there.

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It was really hard for me to draw

boundaries in my marriage on, and

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it, it's not, it's so interesting

how when you say yes to something

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that you don't really wanna do,

it's not the other person's fault.

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It's all your responsibility

and there's no shame in it, and

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there's no beating yourself up.

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But here's the thing, take responsibility.

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So in the future you can

make a different decision.

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You have the choice to say no, and yep.

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Sometimes that's uncomfortable.

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Sometimes someone might not like

you, but that's your choice.

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So it's not the person's

fault that you say yes to.

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So I have learned to hold my anger.

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Back on that person and

just work on myself.

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So boundaries are a bridge.

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They are not a wall, and they have helped

my relationships immensely in life.

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And then to also, another thing I talked

about is to reignite those passions.

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Think about what you love to do

as a kid, and you'll be surprised

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at how it may want you to go back.

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Do it again.

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In fact, I came up to my husband, he

put his hand on my forehead because I

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said, I wanna take the grandkids camping.

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And he was like, are you kidding me?

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Because you and camping did not mix.

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But you know what?

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There were parts of camping that did

mix and there are ways of camping.

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Yeah.

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I don't really like to go way

up in the boondocks in a canoe

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with no motor, no bathroom, no.

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None of that.

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But I don't mind going, um.

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In a nice camper with a

shower in a beautiful spot.

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So reignite those passions.

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We can figure out what we like.

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And here's the thing, friends,

self-sacrifice isn't love if it costs you.

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You self-sacrifice is

not love if it costs you.

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You, I know women, we all think

we have to sacrifice ourselves.

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That's not really the way to do

it, and that's what I've learned.

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Keep building yourself up, loving

yourself, setting your boundaries,

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and you will overflow with being able

to help and love and serve the world.

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Thanks so much for being here.