Saddle Up: Why a Prenup Might Be the Best Gift You Give Your Marriage

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Welcome friends.

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This week on doing divorce Different,

we had Melissa Miel, Slavic.

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She's an attorney, she's a

sweetheart, she's a become a friend.

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Um, but she was on and she

was talking about prenups.

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We made it a two part series.

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So go back and listen to Tuesdays

episodes, we talk about prenups, and then

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in the upcoming week we're gonna talk

about postnuptial and collaborative law.

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And here's the thing.

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This podcast is helpful whether

you're single, maybe thinking about

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getting married, whether you're

divorced and maybe gonna get remarried

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because prenuptial agree agreements.

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Melissa talks about how they actually

strengthen a marriage, and I think

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maybe they can get a bad rap, right?

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Because you think about like.

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I don't know, like the movies that you've

seen where the rich guy or the rich lady

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makes someone sign a prenup and then they

leave 'em and they're left with nothing.

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So that's not really what it's about,

especially if you do it collaboratively

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and really an important, uh,

point to have attorneys involved.

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Um, but it is a way.

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To really be serious and

thoughtful about your marriage.

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And I'm looking to do a study, so if

anyone has any information, and I'll

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keep digging, um, to find out whether

or not people with prenups divorce more

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or less than people who don't have them.

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But here's the thing that was

kind of eyeopening to me, is that.

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When a young couple is getting

married, they often don't realize

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the extent of this binding agreement.

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I mean, it's a binding agreement between

the two of you and God and the law.

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So it is like a partnership and you

wouldn't go into a business partnership.

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Without writing down how things would

go, um, how they're gonna work, how

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it would go if it, if you separate it.

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Because here's the thing, you

get to do it and God help you.

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I don't want you to end up divorced.

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And I think that the kind of people who

do prenups together collaboratively are

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often planners and working together.

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So I feel like.

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They've got a better start

to their marriage already.

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But it helps you look at when you're at

a point when emotions aren't high and

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you're at a point in time and you can

talk about what your thoughts are at that

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time for what would happen in the future.

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And we know things can change and,

and you can groove with that, but.

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It's so helpful, one to make

you realize what a important

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commitment you are making.

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I think it's huge that it's be

that God is your is there and he's,

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you know, binding you together.

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But you also have to

realize the law is there.

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And I'm gonna be honest friends, I have

so many couples that come to me angry.

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Why can't we just say we

wanna be divorced and be done?

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You can't because you are in a legal.

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Legally, you know, written up partnership.

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And so you can't just

break away that easily.

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You have to go through paperwork.

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So take the time to really look

at it and set yourself up to a

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great marriage, because couples

who can communicate together.

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About what they would want in a

prenup, how they would want things

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to be if they did end up divorce.

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Looking at, well, if we have kids,

what would we want it to look like?

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It is going to help you.

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God help you.

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You do get to the point

where you need a divorce.

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At least you can look back

and say, you know what?

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This is what we agreed on.

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Because when emotions run

high, it's really, really hard

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to use that prodigy brain.

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It's hard to reason.

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It's hard to make really good decisions,

and we do everything we can to help you.

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I try to help you through

mediation to keep that brain.

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Um, that prodigy brain working so you

can make good decisions, but if you had

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talked about it in in advance, you'd

be set up and I think you might have a

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better chance of not getting there because

you're already showing that you're working

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together, that you can communicate well.

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That's a big part of what you need

in a great marriage, and you're

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going in with eyes wide open.

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You know what this partnership looks

like and it's not gonna be a surprise

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if something NFU happens and you,

you've gotta change things around.

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So I agree with Melissa when she said

prenups can build stronger marriages.

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Go listen to the episode.

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It's so good.

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And she's so awesome.

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She's a great teacher.

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Thanks for being here.

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I.